Sunday, August 10, 2003
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Welcome back! We both had a vacation at the same time, and I hope yours was as good as mine! Of course, my vacation wasn’t as exciting as yours--I didn’t spend mine raising millions of dollars and looking for WMD(s) and looking for Saddam and stopping gays from getting married.
I did read a good book, though--have you read Hillary’s book, “Living History?” It’s pretty good--she’s really smart. Do you think if she runs for president, you’ll find a way to call off the debates? I think you should--and it probably wouldn’t be too hard. Just start another war and say you’re too busy.
But Hillary’s book made me think--Boy, was that Clinton a liar! Remember when he looked right in the camera and said, “I did not have sex with that woman!”? The nerve! And the liberal media--you didn’t hear them going on and on about the “eight words.” And now they’re making such a big deal about your sixteen words when all you were trying to do was make the world safe from terrorism and liberate Iraq from the evil dictator and stop Saddam from buying plutonium from the nation of Africa and keep him from selling it to Bin Laden! Jeez! Doesn’t anybody have any priorities? In eight words, Clinton lied to us about his sex life, and all you did was exaggerate the truth so we could go to war and spread Democracy around the world! Some people just don’t get it.
Anyway, welcome home. I saw that picture of you getting off Air Force One with your dog, Barney Bush. You looked worried--it made me wonder if Barney Bush had to “go” or maybe you heard that Hillary was going to run. But you charged way ahead of Laura (your wife) and left her stranded at the top of the steps trying to catch up. I always try to let my wife go first--but you’re the President and I know you have a lot on your mind.
You’re Either With Us or You’re Against Us!
Shock and Awe!
Bring ‘em On!
Carl Estrada