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This is a job for.... Carl Estrada!
 
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Friday, October 03, 2003
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

Your going to have to get out in front of this Iraq situation! You’ve got the Demos playing partisan politics and trying to stick you with a special prosecutor just because one of your guys outed a CIA spy. Then you’ve got this new report from some guy named Kay who says there really weren’t any WMD(s) (so what else is new?). You’ve got everybody screaming because they don’t want to fork up $87 billion to free Iraq. And now everybody is saying you’re a truth-exaggerator--I even saw a magazine with a picture of you with a Pinocchio nose! (It wasn’t real--it was a drawing.)

Sir, there’s a cancer on your presidency. You must make a bold move so people will know you’re in charge. I have an idea for you: Fire your press secretary! I know that seems extreme, but look at the history--when Ari Fleischer was press secretary, your ratings were in the 90’s. Ever since Scott McLellan came on board, your ratings have been taking a dive. Now I’m not saying it’s all McLellan’s fault, but you need to shake things up. Shoot the messenger!

And--the timing is perfect. Do you know who just became available for the job? Rush Limbaugh! That’s right--he resigned his job as football analyst at ESPN because the liberal media sabotaged him for telling the truth about a black quarterback. Anyway, he’s experienced, he’s articulate, he’s funny, and he’s so conservative he makes Tom DeLay look like a liberal. He would solidify your Christian right base and he’d be the perfect guy to articulate your views!

397 days til elections!

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

 

 
 
 
 
 


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