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Office of William Jefferson Clinton
55 West 125 Street
New York, New York 10027
Dear Former President Clinton,
I heard you testified before the 9-11 Commission last week. I bet you knocked their socks off! You always do. Also, it was a “solo” performance. That was a daring move to not bring Al Gore with you, but you’ve always liked to live on the edge, and I bet you held your own without him. They said you testified for five-and-a-half hours. The only time Our President has done something that long was when he went to a doubleheader.
But everybody has different strengths. I heard the first thing you said when you saw the airplanes crashing into the Twin Towers was, “Bin Laden!” When Our President heard about it he said, “Find out if Saddam had anything to do with this.” Just because of that, people are going around saying he’s not intelligent. Of course he’s intelligent! He’s just not curious.
Or articulate.
But Our President is intelligent. He has an almost photographic memory for names. He remembers everybody’s name! Also, he’s got a really good memory for baseball statistics. Ask him, “Who’s the Texas Rangers second baseman?” and he’ll say, “ 12, Alfonso Soriano, bats right, throws right, lifetime batting average of .282, makes $7,400,00 per year.
Ask him, “Who’s the Cleveland Indians left fielder?” and he'll say, “Number 11, Matt Lawton, bats left, throws right, lifetime batting average of .268, makes $7,250,00 per year.”
Ask him, “Who masterminded the attack on the World Trade Center?” and he'll say, “Saddam Hussein.” You can only spread yourself so thin.
Also, Our President is really smart when it comes to making up nicknames. He called Paul O’Neill “Pablo.” He called Colin Powell “Balloonfoot.” Did he make up your nickname too? All the Republicans call you “Bubba,” which means you’re from Arkansas so you couldn’t be very smart.
I was talking with my ten-year-old grandson Lester the other day. I’ve taught him a lot about politics, but you know kids. They have minds of their own. Here’s what he said to me:
“Grandpa, I know you love Our President more than life itself. But anybody who would invade Iraq because bin Laden attacked us, and go in there when nobody in the world wants us to except for maybe Tony Blair, and once he’s leveled Baghdad he has no plan to turn on the lights or how to get people water or how to stop the looting, and gets surprised when the Iraqis are mad because we trashed their country and killed so many people we’ve lost count, and gets surprised when they start shooting back--Grandpa, anybody who would do that is an idiot!”
I winced. All I could say was, “Lester, you still have a lot to learn. Our President is intelligent. He’s just not curious. Or articulate.”
Sincerely,
Carl Estrada
