The oceans are rising! Forests are burning! Terrorists on the loose! Donald Trump is running amok!
This is a job for.... Carl Estrada!
 
 Sections
 

Home

New Letters

Carl 2022
Carl 2021
Carl 2020
Carl 2019
Carl 2018
Carl 2017
MR. TRUMP
Hillary
Carl 2016
Brad Cahoon
Letters 2009
Letters: 2007 & 2008
YouTube
Carl's Point 2007
Carl's Point
Brad's Letters
2006 Letters
Buddies of Bob
Letters to bush 2005
open
Dear Mr. President
open
The Current Administration
open
Politicians and Presidential Wannabes
open
The Liberal Media
open
Religious Superstars
open
Celebrities
Corporations and CEOs
World Leaders
Paul's Page
 

Replies
The Complete Carl List

Links

* DemocracyMeansYou.com
* Paul Chasman Guitar Music
* Email Paul Chasman
* Order The Book of Bob Online
* My Page on the Book Marketeer
* Blue Funk Productions

* My YouTube Debut!
* Another YouTube Video!

Monday, March 29, 2004
Dr. Condoleezza Rice
National Security Advisor
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Dr. Rice,

Stay the course! Stonewall! Don’t let the liberals pressure you into testifying publicly before the 9/11 Commission!

We know what will happen--first of all, they’ll make you testify under oath and then--you’ll have to tell the truth! We just can’t have that! This is a National Security issue! Can you imagine what will happen if Al Qaeda finds out that Our President retaliated against Iraq because bin Laden attacked us on 9/11? Can you imagine how they’ll laugh at us? Bin Laden will say, “Let’s hit America again. This time Bush will bomb Turkey! Ha ha ha!”

We both know George W. Bush is the Greatest President of All-Time--he’s even better than Herbert Hoover! But even great presidents have weaknesses and between you and me, Our President has one: bad aim. Three airplanes full of Saudi hijackers attack us and what does Our President do? Overthrow Iraq--MISS! Pakistan holds a fire sale on nuclear secrets and what does Our President do? Threaten Korea--WHIFF! Our President bombed Afghanistan into the Stone Age, but he still couldn’t catch Bin Laden--BAD AIM!

It’s ok--the important thing is he’s a Strong Leader. But we just can’t let our enemies know our weaknesses. That’s why it would be totally irresponsible for you to testify before the 9/11 Commission.

Also, you have to think about book sales. I know Cheney said Richard Clarke was just trying to promote his book when he testified, but you’re different. If you were to testify now, the commission would make you tell all the stuff you’re saving up for your “tell-all” memoir that you’ll probably write as soon as you leave the White House. You have another Harry Potter on your hands! If you give up everything you know to the commission, your book will go slower than Bible sales in Iran!

Just keep that nice white blouse buttoned up to the top of your neck and tough it out! If all else fails, just tell them you were “out of the loop!”

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

 

 
 
 
 
 


Home * New Letters * Carl 2022 * Carl 2021 * Carl 2020 * Carl 2019 * Carl 2018 * Carl 2017 * MR. TRUMP * Hillary * Carl 2016 * Brad Cahoon * Letters 2009 * Letters: 2007 & 2008 * YouTube * Carl's Point 2007 * Carl's Point * Brad's Letters * 2006 Letters * Buddies of Bob * Letters to bush 2005 * Dear Mr. President * The Current Administration * Politicians and Presidential Wannabes * The Liberal Media * Religious Superstars * Celebrities * Corporations and CEOs * World Leaders * Paul's Page * Replies

The Carl Letters Email Us

If you are experiencing difficulties using this site, please email us