Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Monday, January 19, 2004
Pat Robertson
The Christian Broadcasting Network
977 Centerville Turnpike
Virginia Beach, VA 23463

Dear Pat,

I have a theological question and a practical question.

THEOLOGICAL QUESTION: Is the earth round or flat? I’ve looked and looked in my Bible and I can’t find it anywhere! I know the same “scientists” who tell us the earth is round are the ones going around talking about evolution and trying to scare us with their “global warming” stories. I mean, it’s almost like they’re trying to play a joke on us: “Yeah, see...the earth is a round ball, see...and you can stand on the bottom of it and you won’t fall off because their’s this thing called--get this--gravity! And gravity is this big suction that sucks us all back to the earth even if we’re standing on it upside down!” Give me a break! I don’t see one place in the Bible that says anything about that! What’s your take? Just give me the truth!

PRACTICAL QUESTION: You said that God talked to you and told you George W. Bush was going to get re-elected in a landslide. But that was when God thought Bush’s opponent would be Howard Dean. Now that it looks like it’s going to be Kerry or Clark, does God still think Bush will win? Has he changed the odds? I’m still planning to put down a big bet, but I want to hear from you what God says, and it’s a pretty fluid situation.

BONUS QUESTION: Could you ask God who’s going to win the Super Bowl? I’d like to bet on that one too.

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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