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Saturday, March 02, 2019

Congressman Mark Meadows

2160 Rayburn HOB

Washington DC 20515

 

Dear Congressman Meadows,

How dare the socialist libtards call you a “racist!”  You’re not a racist!  You’re just a white guy who uses black people as props!  That doesn’t make you a racist.  It just makes you….

A Republican.

It’s like you said—you “don’t have a racial bone in (your) body.”  On the home page of your web site, you even have a picture of yourself down on your knees shaking hands with a black guy in a wheel chair.  I have a question:

Were you pleading with him to sit behind you while you were yelling at Michael Cohen?

Or were you asking him to pray with you to “send Obama back home to Kenya”?

Well, I guess you couldn’t get the black guy in the wheel chair to stand behind you while you were yelling at Michael Cohen, so Lynne Patton would have to do.  Excellent choice, sir!  Lynne Patton has a resumé a mile long!  She was one of 16 unpaid directors at the Eric Trump Foundation AND she planned his wedding!  And guess what:

She’s black!

Which proves Eric Trump isn’t a racist either.

Now she’s head of the New York and New Jersey regions of HUD, which proves President TRUMP is no racist either, because he was willing to give a black woman with no previous experience a chance to run a humongous program to make life better for poor people. 

Anyway, who says she had no previous experience?  Did you know she worked on casting for The Celebrity Apprentice?  If that doesn’t prepare you for a gig at Housing and Urban Development, I don’t know what does!  

And you probably didn’t know this because you’re “color blind,” but the director of HUD is black too.  It’s true!  Ben Carson is a certified African American!  He was a brain surgeon, which just goes to show:  

Blacks can do anything!

Lynne Patton is also famous for a clever name she made up to call White House correspondent, April Ryan.  Here’s what she called April Ryan:

“Miss Piggy.”

I have another question:  Do you think Rep. Rashida Tlaib is a racist?  The reason I ask is, when you brought Lynne Patton to stand behind you while you were yelling at Michael Cohen, here’s what Rashida Tlaib said:

“The fact that someone would actually use a prop, a black woman, in this chamber in this committee is alone racist itself.”

This doesn’t even make sense!  To use Tlaib’s logic, when Rep. Paul Gosar used a prop that said, “Liar, liar, pants on fire” to prove his point, that would make him a first grader!

Paul Gosar’s not a first grader, is he?

Besides, Rashida Tlaib is the daughter of Palestinian immigrants!  What does she know about racism?

But you set her straight when you said:  “My nieces and nephews are people of color.  Not many people know that.” 

BURN!  This proves beyond a doubt that you have nieces and nephews of color!  

You’re just like me.  My daughter is a lesbian.  Not many people know that either.  I’ve tried to keep it a secret, but no matter how many times I try to shush up my wife Viola, she keeps blabbing it to her friends.

I get so mad when people call me a homophobe!  How can I be a homophobe?!  I love my daughter!  I love her so much that when she came out, I tried to get her into conversion therapy! 

It would have worked too, but Viola pulled her out before the first day was over.  

My point is, nobody can really say what racism is.  It’s like global warming:  The science is still out.

By the way, when you said you wanted to “send Obama back home to Kenya,” you were in great company!  

POP QUIZ:

Name the great American who made the following statement:  

“We can’t all of a sudden get down on our knees and turn everything over to the leadership of the blacks.” 

a) Rep. Mark Meadows

b) President TRUMP

c) John Wayne

Answer:  c) John Wayne

You’re rubbing elbows with a giant, sir!  Here’s what else John Wayne said:

“I don’t feel guilty about the fact that five or 10 generations ago these people were slaves.  Now, I’m not condoning slavery. It’s just a fact of life, like the kid who gets infantile paralysis and has to wear braces so he can’t play football with the rest of us.”

Here’s another thing “The Duke” said:

“I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from the Indians.  Our so-called stealing of this country from them was just a matter of survival. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.”

Here’s another thing “The Duke” said:

“I believe in white supremacy.”

And now, just because he said those things, the socialist libtards want to change the name of John Wayne Airport and take down his statue!  Where will this end?!  Next thing you know, they’ll be wanting to take down the statue of Robert E. Lee!

POP QUIZ #2:  

Question: Was John Wayne a racist?

Answer:

a) Yes

b) No

c) He couldn’t have been because he had a black valet.

Anyway, with all due respect sir, when Rashida Tlaib called you a racist, you blew a perfect opportunity to set the record straight!  I know, I know.  It’s really hard to think on your feet and come up with the perfect response in real time.  We can’t all be Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez!   

But you flubbed the perfect rebuttal that would have shut down the argument once and for all!  You fumbled a golden chance to raise the bar to the level that all your Republican colleagues aspire to!  When Rashida Tlaib called you a racist, here’s what you should have said:

“I know you are, but what am I?”

Sincerely,

Carl Estrada

P.S.  Please send me an autographed picture.  Make it out to my grandson, Lester.  You’re his favorite non-racist congressman.  He likes you even better than Steve King!

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 


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