The oceans are rising! Forests are burning! Terrorists on the loose! Donald Trump is running amok!
This is a job for.... Carl Estrada!
 
 Sections
 

Home

New Letters

Carl 2019
Carl 2018
Carl 2017
MR. TRUMP
Hillary
Carl 2016
Brad Cahoon
Letters 2009
Letters: 2007 & 2008
YouTube
Carl's Point 2007
Carl's Point
Brad's Letters
2006 Letters
Buddies of Bob
Letters to bush 2005
open
Dear Mr. President
open
The Current Administration
open
Politicians and Presidential Wannabes
open
The Liberal Media
open
Religious Superstars
open
Celebrities
Corporations and CEOs
World Leaders
Paul's Page
 

Replies
The Complete Carl List

Links

* DemocracyMeansYou.com
* Paul Chasman Guitar Music
* Email Paul Chasman
* Order The Book of Bob Online
* My Page on the Book Marketeer
* Blue Funk Productions

* My YouTube Debut!
* Another YouTube Video!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

President Donald J. TRUMP

The White House (“a real dump”)

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC  20500

 

Dear President TRUMP,

 

I heard you ordered officials at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention to ban seven words from their budget documents.  Here are the seven words you don’t want the CDC to say:

 

S**t

F**k

P**s

C**t

C**ks****r

M****rf****r

T*ts

 

Whoops!  Wrong list!  Those are the seven words George Carlin said you can never say on television.  But guess what?  He said them anyway!  Just goes to show.  When you’re a celebrity, you can do anything!

 

Anyway, here are the seven words you don’t want the CDC to say anymore:

 

Diversity

Fetus

Transgender

Vulnerable

Entitlement

Science-based

Evidence based

 

I have a question:  Are the CDC scientists still allowed to say, “Are you serious?” 

 

Or:

 

“Are you kidding?”

 

The reason I ask is that’s what a CDC analyst asked the Washington Post when he heard about your ban: 

 

“Are you serious?  Are you kidding?”

 

But there’s another word that slipped through the cracks!  Some guy named Rush Holt who claims to be the CEO of the American Association for the Advancement of Science noticed it.  This is what Rush Holt said:

 

"Here's a word that's still allowed:  Ridiculous."

 

I guess you’d better make it eight words. 

 

Anyway, I’m worried that the “scientists” at the CDC aren’t taking your 7-Word-Ban  seriously.  I think you should write them a memo so they understand exactly what you have in mind.  Here’s what your memo should say:

 

MEMO TO THE CDC:

To ensure that our most privileged citizens receive their due entitlement, we must allow every fetus to survive up until the moment it is born naked and vulnerable into this world at which time, if it is poor, brown, disabled or transgender, it must be cast aside because, at this critical juncture in human existence, it is imperative that we properly employ science-based reason and evidence-based facts to stamp out all traces of diversity.

 

Make America Great Again!

 

Carl Estrada

 

P.S.  I think you should add George Carlin’s list to the words the CDC can’t say.  Now we’re up to 14.  Fifteen if you include “ridiculous.”

 

P.P.S.  Also, I don’t think the CDC should be allowed to say, “Grab ‘em by the p***y, either.”  That brings us up to 20!

 

P.P.P.S.  But wait!  I just thought of seven more words the CDC shouldn’t be allowed to say:

 

Democracy

Constitution

Popular Vote

Robert Mueller

Climate Change

Polar Bears

Mushroom Cloud

 

P.P.P.P.S.  I know you don’t read books so I won’t recommend “1984.”  It’s a good one, though.  Maybe you should rent the movie.

 

P.P.P.P.P.S.  On second thought, don’t.

 

 
 
 
 
 


Home * New Letters * Carl 2019 * Carl 2018 * Carl 2017 * MR. TRUMP * Hillary * Carl 2016 * Brad Cahoon * Letters 2009 * Letters: 2007 & 2008 * YouTube * Carl's Point 2007 * Carl's Point * Brad's Letters * 2006 Letters * Buddies of Bob * Letters to bush 2005 * Dear Mr. President * The Current Administration * Politicians and Presidential Wannabes * The Liberal Media * Religious Superstars * Celebrities * Corporations and CEOs * World Leaders * Paul's Page * Replies

The Carl Letters Email Us

If you are experiencing difficulties using this site, please email us