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Friday, December 15, 2017

Congressman Louie Gomer

2243 Rayburn HOB

Washington, DC 20515

 

Dear Congressman Gomer,

 

I have a question:

 

Who is the “face” of the Republican Party?

 

I know, I know.  You’re saying, “Why, that’s obvious, Carl!  The face of the Republican Party is Donald TRUMP. “  And I say you’re wrong, Congressman Gomer.  TRUMP is so last Muslim ban!  He used to knock out twenty good tweets before his first Big Mac but now, even with 12 Diet Cokes coursing through his veins, he can still barely muster up a decent tweet.  Last week, when Senator Kirsten Gillebrand called him out for sexual harassment, all he could come up with was this:

 

“She would come to my office 'begging' for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them).”

 

Really?  12 Diet Cokes and that’s the best he could do?   What happened to the good old TRUMP who could toss off insults faster than Don Rickles at a cross-dressers’ convention?  He was so insulting, even Joan Rivers said, “Damn!  That guy’s really mean!”

 

Remember when TRUMP threw out lines like:

 

"You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever."

 

And:

"You know, it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass. But she’s got to be young and beautiful."

And:

"It must be a pretty picture--you dropping to your knees."

Get your mind out of the gutter, Congressman Gomer!  When TRUMP told the Apprentice contestant Brande Roderick that he’d like to see her on her knees, it wasn’t what you think! 

Maybe he wanted to see her praying.

My point is, no amount of Big Macs, Diet Cokes, Filet O’ Fish, and chocolate malts are going to bring back the old President TRUMP.  He just doesn’t have the mojo anymore!  At one time he was the proud standard bearer of the Republican Party but now he’s just a tired old Vegas lounge act warming up the crowd for the fifty-year-old stripper.

So who is the “face” of the Republican party?  Congressman Ryan, you say?  Maybe Mitch McConnell? 

Give me a break, Congressman Gomer!  Paul Ryan is making noise about retiring from Congress next year.  He’s smart enough to get out before the peasants with pitch forks tar and feather him and haul him out of town on the same rail that Mitch McConnell will be riding next year!

No, Congressman Gomer!  There’s only one person who has the depth, the understanding, the level of intelligence, and the wisdom that it takes to represent everything the Republican Party stands for!  And that person is:

YOU!

I’m so dense! This has been sitting under my nose the whole time! But I finally got it when I watched you grilling Rod Rosenstein at the House Judiciary hearing yesterday.  Steve Cohen (D-TN) was talking about the evil Robert Mueller and he said:

“Everybody respects this man in this country.”

But then you interrupted, and with the wisdom, the depth, the understanding, the level of intelligence that represents everything the Republican party stands for, you said this:

“I don’t.”

You see?  With those two simple words, you summed up the depth, the understanding, the level of intelligence, and the wisdom you’ve shown America ever since you became a Congressman.  Like the time you said:

“I’ve had people say, ‘Hey, you know, there’s nothing wrong with gays in the military. Look at the Greeks.’ Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, it’s a different kind of fighting, it’s a different kind of war and if you’re sitting around getting massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you’re not going to last very long.”

 

Or the time you said:

 

”I talked to a retired FBI agent who said that one of the things they were looking at were terrorist cells overseas who had figured out how to game our system. And it appeared they would have young women, who became pregnant, would get them into the United States to have a baby. They wouldn’t even have to pay anything for the baby. And then they would turn back where they could be raised and coddled as future terrorists. And then one day, twenty…thirty years down the road, they can be sent in to help destroy our way of life.”

 

Or the time you said:

 

"So when caribou want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline. ... So my real concern now is if oil stops running through the pipeline ... do we need a study to see how adversely the caribou would be affected if that warm oil ever quit flowing?"

Makes you think.

My point is, Congressman Gomer, you are the only man who can stop Robert Mueller from hatching his evil plot to stop the Russians from interfering in our elections! You’re the only man who can stop Robert Mueller and his Hillary-loving henchmen from protecting the Constitution!  You are the only man who can protect President TRUMP from going down in a flaming orange asteroid on the dung heap of history! 

Here’s what you should do:

Keep hammering Mueller and Rosenstein for firing those biased special agents!  Keep saying things like:

"So many on the special task force, the special counsel's force aren't just biased, they are oozing hatred for Trump out of every pore. This is not just political opinions. This is disgusting, unaccountable political bias, and there’s just no way this could not affect a person’s work.”

Right again, Congressman Gomer!  Of course special agent Strzok was biased when he called Bernie Sanders “an idiot like Trump.”  Or when special agent Page texted, “God, Trump is a loathsome human.”

Even the Democrat, Congressman Nadler had to admit those special agents were biased!  Here’s what he said:

 “They did not say anything about Donald Trump that the majority of Americans weren’t also thinking at the same time.”

By the way, do you remember Rosenstein’s answer when you asked him:

“Were you aware just how biased Mr. Strzok was?”

Here’s what Rosenstein said:

“No.”

Keep hammering away, Congressman Gomer!  Then, when TRUMP fires Rosenstein and finds somebody to fire Mueller, everybody will know that all those stories about Flynn, Manafort, Papadopoulos, Kushner,  Donald Jr., Sessions, Carter Page, Pence, and President TRUMP colluding with the Russians are just a bunch of Fake News!

And when they bring the case before the House Judiciary Committee, it will be up to you, Congressman Gomer, to show the depth, the understanding, the level of intelligence, and the wisdom that it takes to represent everything the Republican Party stands for! 

When the Democrats are screaming for impeachment, and they try spread the Fake News that “everybody respects” Robert Mueller, stand up, Congressman Gomer!  Stand up and say: 

 “I don’t.”

Sincerely,                                                                                                 

Carl Estrada                                                                                                                               P.S.  Do you think when Rosenstein gets fired, he can get a job working for Roy Moore?  I hear he likes Jewish lawyers.

P.P.S. Could you please send a photo?  Autographed?  Make it out to my grandson, Lester.  You’re his favorite climate change denier.  He likes you even better than James Inhofe!

 

 
 
 
 
 


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