Mr. Donald TRUMP Jr.

The TRUMP Organization

725 Fifth Avenue,

New York, NY 10022

Dear Mr. TRUMP Jr.,

Like they say: The acorn doesn’t fall far from tree! 

Or maybe they should say the Skittle doesn’t fall far from the TRUMP tower!

Everybody’s so politically correct!  So what if you compared 3.2 million helpless, suffering people to a bowl of candy?  I like Skittles and I bet those starving Syrian refugees wouldn’t turn them down either, even if there were three poisoned ones in the bunch.  When you’re starving, you take your chances.

Remember when Van Halen wanted all the brown M&Ms taken out of the bowl in their dressing room?  It’s kind of like that.  Remove the brown M&Ms!

I have a question, Mr. TRUMP Jr:  Have you ever been starving?  The reason I ask is I bet you worked up quite an appetite posing with all those dead elephants and leopards and wildebeests you killed!  

And you must get pretty hungry having to defend your dad against the discrimination that Hillary oppresses him with all the time!  It’s like you said:

"They've let her slide on every indiscrepancy, on every lie, on every DNC game trying to get Bernie Sanders out of the thing. I mean, if Republicans were doing that, they'd be warming up the gas chamber right now. It's a very different system -- there's nothing fair about it.”

Question:  What’s an “indiscrepancy”? 

Speaking of political correctness and gas chambers….

POP QUIZ:  WHO SAID THIS:

“Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice.”

IF YOU SAID ADOLF HITLER, YOU ARE CORRECT AND YOU MAY GO ON TO THE NEXT ROUND!  WHO SAID THIS:

“When somebody challenges you, fight back.  Be brutal, be tough.”

NO, THAT WASN’T HITLER.  THAT WAS YOUR DAD.  OKAY, NEXT QUESTION:

“If you win, you need not have to explain...If you lose, you should not be there to explain!”

OK, I KNOW THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING.  THAT WAS HITLER AGAIN.  TRY THIS ONE:

“My whole life is about winning.  I don’t lose often.  I almost never lose.”

YOU’RE CATCHING ON!  THAT WAS YOUR DAD! HERE’S ONE:

“I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct.  I’ve been challenged by so many people, and I don’t frankly have time for total political correctness.  And to be honest, this country doesn’t have time either.”

WHOOPS!  THAT WAS YOUR DAD AGAIN.  YOU SEE?  IT'S BECOMING SO POLITICALLY INCORRECT TO COMPARE YOUR DAD TO HITLER, BUT FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR TOTAL POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AND TO BE HONEST THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T HAVE TIME EITHER, SO LET'S CALL IT LIKE WE SEE IT: HITLER COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ALL BAD BECAUSE HE WAS SO MUCH LIKE YOUR DAD!

LAST TWO QUOTES—ANSWER WHO MADE THESE STATEMENTS CORRECTLY AND YOU WIN THE GAME:

“The receptivity of the masses is very limited, their intelligence is small, but their power of forgetting is enormous. In consequence of these facts, all effective propaganda must be limited to a very few points and must harp on these in slogans until the last member of the public understands what you want him to understand by your slogan.”

“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”

TAKE YOUR TIME.  THIS IS A TOUGH ONE.  READY?  IF YOU SAID “HITLER,” YOU’RE THE WINNER!  STEP UP AND SEE WHAT YOU’VE WON:

CONGRATULATIONS, DONALD TRUMP JR!  BY CORRECTLY IDENTIFYING QUOTES FROM YOUR FATHER AND ADOLPH HITLER, YOU HAVE WON A BOWL OF 3.2 MILLION SKITTLES! 

AND…YOU WILL HAPPY TO KNOW THERE ARE NO POISONED ONES IN THE ENTIRE BUNCH!  (HOWEVER, WE APOLOGIZE, YOU WILL HAVE TO PICK OUT THE BROWN M&Ms.)

Sincerely,

Carl Estrada

P.S. Could you please send me a photo?  Autographed?  Make it out to my grandson, Lester.  You’re his favorite TRUMP child.

He likes you even better than Ivanka.

P.P.S.  If Ivanka wasn’t your sister, would you be dating her?

P.P.S.  Please don’t send a photo of you with dead animals or holding elephant trunks.  Lester is a sensitive child.