Mr. Rudy “9/11” Giuliani
Giuliani Partners LLC
200 Park Avenue — 39th Floor
New York, NY 10166-1499
Dear Mr. Giuliani,
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I bet you’re wondering where I found that quote? It’s on your web site! I clicked on “Integrity” and there it was!
If Martin Luther King was right, then you must be standing ten feet tall! That’s because our country is facing the biggest crisis since 9/11, and you, Mr. Rudy “9/11” Giuliani are stepping up to the plate just like you did then! You’re the expert on 9/11. Remember when Joe Biden said:
“There’s only three things Rudy Giuliani mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and 9/11.”
You see? There’s no one who knows more about 9/11 than you! We all know that! You’ve told us a thousand times. But the little known fact is you know a thing or two about nouns and verbs too, which is why I’m writing this letter.
The Nominee, Mr. TRUMP is in big trouble! And we all know why—it’s because he doesn’t use nouns or verbs. Like when he said:
“Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is, I don't know."
And then it was your job to explain to George Stephanopolis and Chris Cuomo and everybody else in the Liberal Media what Mr. TRUMP meant! You explained that Mr. TRUMP “was talking about how they (the “Second Amendment People”) have the power to keep her (Hillary) out of office.”
I get it! Now it makes perfect sense! Mr. TRUMP would never suggest that the “Second Amendment People” should shoot the president! Maybe he was just saying the “Second Amendment People” should stand guard at the voting sites so they can keep people out if they look like they’re going to vote for Crooked Hillary.
But wait a minute! Mr. TRUMP was talking about how the “Second Amendment People” could stop Crooked Hillary after she’s elected. Maybe he just meant they should stand guard in front of the White House so she can’t get in.
Maybe Mr. TRUMPonly meant the “Second Amendment People” should shoot her Supreme Court pick.
I’m glad you cleared it up when you said this:
With a crowd like that, if that's what they thought he'd meant, they'd have gone wild."
Maybe next time you see Mr. TRUMPyou should ask him to keep his hands in his pockets while he’s speaking. With crowds like that, all he has to do is wave those little hands and….. wait a minute. What’s that I hear?
Republican presidential candidate Donald TRUMP has just doubled down on his declaration that President Obama and Hillary Clinton are the “Founders of Isis.”
I’d better let you go! Hurry! Call George Stephanopolis right now before the “Clinton Spin Machine” gets to him! Just throw in a verb and a noun or two and we’ll be fine!
Make America Great Again For Old White Men!
P.S. Try to keep the “Clinton Spin Machine” away from the Secret Service. They’ve been paying Mr. TRUMP lots of visits lately.
P.P.S. By the time you read this letter, Mr. TRUMP will probably have said a few more things that need explaining, so be sure to keep a fresh supply of nouns and verbs handy.
P.P.P.S. Could you please send me a photo? Autographed? Make it out to my grandson, Lester. You’re his favorite TRUMP explainer. He likes you even better than Chris Christie!