Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice President and CEO
National Rifle Association of America
11250 Waples Mill Road
Fairfax, VA 22030
Dear Mr. LaPierre,
I have a question:
I’m going deer hunting and I wonder which is better, an AR-15 like the one that guy used in Orlando or a Bushmaster semi-automatic rifle like that guy used at Sandy Hook?
I’m leaning toward the AR-15. That guy who shot up Clackamas Town Center near my house used an AR-15 too, and it did a pretty good job.
Here’s my question: If I shoot a deer with my AR-15, will there be any meat left to eat? I’m a sportsman and I believe in eating what I kill. I’d hate to waste a whole deer!
Then again, I don’t much like the taste of deer. It’s pretty gamey, don’t you think? What do you use to hunt deer, a bazooka or a hand grenade?
Maybe I should buy a drone.
Remember when you said: "If it's crazy to call for putting police and armed security in our schools to protect our children, then call me crazy."
Well, Mr. LaPierre, I hate to say it but I’m calling you crazy! Here’s why:
Remember when that guy from the country of Radical Islam bought that AR-15 because the 2nd Amendment says he has a right to be part of a “well regulated Militia”? And remember how he took that AR-15 that was his God given right to own (Christian God) and massacred all those gays in that Orlando night club? And remember when our next president, Donald TRUMP said:
"If some of those wonderful people had guns strapped to their waist, strapped to their ankle, and this son of a bitch comes out and starts shooting, and one of the people in that room happened to have [a gun] and goes 'boom.' You know what folks, that would have been a beautiful, beautiful sight."
And remember when you said:
"I don't think you should have firearms where people are drinking."
What???!!! You’re not crazy, Mr. LaPierre! You’re bat shit crazy! If people can’t bring firearms into a bar, how are they supposed to protect themselves when they’re too drunk to fight?
I just don’t think you’ve thought this through. We shouldn’t just be allowing guns in bars. We should be passing them out!
And while we’re at it, let’s pass out AR-15s to every child in every school, kindergarten, and day care center in America. Here’s a bumper sticker for you:
A semi a day keeps the predators away!
We should issue a semi-automatic to every passenger on every plane, train, and bus! This is just common sense!
Speaking of common sense, here’s what your chief lobbyist, Chris Cox said:
"No one thinks that people should go into a nightclub drinking and carrying firearms. That defies common sense.”
Oh really? Getting a bit off message, aren’t we? This Chris Cox guy is chipping away at our 2nd Amendment! He should be fired faster than you can say, “Corey Lewandowski!”
I’ll tell you what’s common sense. Common sense says that anybody should be allowed to buy any gun, anywhere, anytime, no waiting, no background checks, and no matter if you’re on the terror watch list. Besides, if you’re on the terror watch list, you can’t get on a plane anyway, so what’s the problem?
Also, we need to pass out semi-automatics to every prisoner in every jail. If I were in jail and taking a shower, I’d want to bring my AR-15 with me. Wouldn’t you?
Sorry, but I have to go now. I’m heading down to motor vehicles to renew my driver’s license.
P.S. Could you please send me a photo of yourself? Autographed? Make it out to my grandson, Lester. You’re his favorite American gun owner. He likes you even better than Omar Mateen.