Tuesday, August 12, 2003
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Whoops! I just wrote you a letter welcoming you back from your vacation, and now I see you're off again. Is this your second vacation or still part of your first? To me, hanging out in Crawford, Texas with Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld doesn't seem like much of a vacation, but what do I know?
I have a question and a tip. Question: Do you wear your American flag lapel pin to bed? Tip: If you do, you may have the same problem I've had--when you roll over in the middle of the night, it comes undone and you get stuck in the chest by the pin. Here's what you do: Simply remove the pin from the mounting (it comes off pretty easily--just use some pliers) and have your wife (Laura) sew the flag to your pajamas! As you know, sometimes the best solutions are the simplest. I thought of this while I was on my vacation. The only problem is, you'll have to do it for every pair of pajamas you have--I only have two pairs so it didn't take my wife long, but you probably have a lot more, so it might keep your wife (Laura) busy for a while. But I think you'll be pleased with the results.
Speaking of American flag lapel pins: I've noticed yours is still crooked. One time I saw it was straight, so I know you're trying, but most of the time you just seem to forget. I forget more and more as I get older. Here's another tip: Write yourself notes. I keep a pad of paper and pencil in my shirt pocket all the time and whenever I think of something, I write myself a note. If you did that, it would really come in handy at press conferences or when you're meeting with foreign leaders and trying to remember their names or where their country is. And you could write a note and tape it to your bathroom mirror saying:
STRAIGHTEN YOUR AMERICAN FLAG PIN!
Have a great vacation!