Thursday, October 09, 2008
October 10, 2008
Senator Barack Obama
713 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
Dear Senator Obama,
I have a confession to make: I sort of like you.
Now don’t get me wrong--this doesn’t mean I’m going to vote for you. I’m voting for McCane. But don’t get me wrong again--I don’t like McCane. He bashes My President almost as much as you do!
I love My President more than life itself, and I still think the only mistake He ever made was when He traded Sammy Sosa. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d vote for someone who bashed My President as much as McCane does, but I’m voting for him anyway, and here’s why:
I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s just something about you I don’t trust.
It’s not because you’re an elitist. If I have to have my appendix out, I don’t want my doctor to be just like me! I want him to be a Harvard grad!
If I get on an airplane, I don’t want my pilot to be a neighborhood grocer! I want him to know how to fly the damn plane!
We’ve got big problems to fix, and I want my next president to be smarter than me! Just between you and me, I think you’re smarter than McCane, too.
But there’s just something about you....
It’s not because you’re inexperienced. If you can go toe to toe with Hillary for a year and come out smelling like a rose, you’ll do just fine against Achmadinijad. You can even pronounce his name!
You’ve been a state senator and a U.S. senator, you’re on the Foreign Relations Committee and the Homeland Security Committee, and I have to admit that’s more than the Hockey Mom ever did.
No--you’re experienced enough. There’s just something about you....
I don’t have a problem with your temperament. When the economy went in the tank, McCane spent two weeks running around like his hair was on fire while you were cool, calm, and... well... presidential. In the first two debates, McCane acted like an old farmer who saw some kids eating his apples and chased them off his property with a shotgun.
And I looked at you and thought, “I can picture that guy being president.”
Except for one thing, and I just don’t know what it is.
I used to think I disagreed with your policies, but I listened to both debates and, I have a confession to make: You sort of make sense.
You say the Iraq war is costing us a trillion dollars, and the Iraqis want us out in 16 months, and besides: Where’s Bin Laden? Can’t argue with that.
You say you want to give me affordable health care and you want all children insured. Can’t argue with that.
You say you want more regulation on Wall Street and more tax breaks for people like me and more taxes for CEO’s. You’ve got a point there.
You say you want to invest in clean energy so we can have a better environment and more jobs. Even My President says we have to do something about global warming, and we have lost a few hundred thousand jobs lately.
So... what is it about you?
I have to admit, I don’t like your name--especially your middle one. It makes me think you’re a Muslim. But then, how could you be a Muslim when your Christian pastor was Jeremiah Wright?
And then I think, if Jeremiah Wright is your pastor, you must hate white people. But you quit his church, and besides, if you hated white people, that would mean you hated your mother and your grandparents who raised you.
Then I wonder if maybe you’re a terrorist because you were pal-ing around with Bill Ayers. But, like you said, you were eight years old when Bill Ayers was in the Weathermen and blowing things up, and when you sat on that charitable board with him, so did a bunch of Republicans. So I guess I don’t have to worry about that.
But then I think, who are you, anyway? Do I really know you? There’s something that feels foreign about you. I can’t put my finger on it but....
I’m going to vote for McCane. There’s just something about you....