Friday, October 03, 2008
Governor Sarah Palin
Alaska State Capitol Building
P.O. Box 110001
Juneau, AK 99811-0001
Dear Governor Palin,
Ya did it, by golly! Ya stepped over the bar without stubbin’ yer toe!
Ya know, last night in the debate, ya reminded me of my grandson, Lester. He was flunkin’ his science class. He flunked every test all year, and his teacher told ‘im if he didn’t pass his final, he’d flunk ‘im. So the week before finals, I stayed up all night every night helpin’ ‘im study. He crammed and crammed till he could hardly keep his eyes open. And when he went and took the test, my Lester was ready! Here was the first question:
How long ago did the Lord create the earth?
A) 6000 years
B) 7000 years
C) 8000 years
D) The same year He made Adam and Eve and dinosaurs
And here was Lester’s answer:
“I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people.”
Whoops! That’s wasn’t Lester--that was you! That was your answer when Joe said:
“If you notice, Gwen, the governor did not answer the question about deregulation, did not answer the question of defending John McCain about not going along with the deregulation, letting Wall Street run wild.”
That’s what ya called Senator Biden: “Joe.”
I have a question: What did Biden say when ya first met ‘im and ya said:
“Hey, can I call you Joe?”
I couldn’t hear him but he musta said okay cuz--again--that’s what ya called ‘im: “Joe.”
But, bless their hearts, the hockey moms and the Joe Six Packs across this great land of ours, they don’t care if ya answer the questions! They don’t care if ya call Senator Biden: “Joe!” Just so ya don’t call ‘im “Joe Six Pack!”
But, doggone it--all the American people wanna know is yer in command of the facts! Like when Joe blurted out:
“John McCain has voted 20 times against funding alternative energy sources and thinks, I guess, the only answer is drill, drill, drill.”
And you set ‘im straight when ya said:
“The chant is "drill, baby, drill."
Gottcha! Joe’s always puttin’ his foot in his mouth an’ mixin’ up the facts! Like when he said:
“And with the surge that has worked we're now down to pre-surge numbers in Iraq.”
Whoops! That wasn’t Joe who said that--it was you! Actually, we’re gonna have more troops over there in I-rack through the spring of 2009.
But--again--Joe was playin’ fast and loose with the facts when he said:
“Barack Obama even supported increasing taxes as late as last year for those families making only $42,000 a year.”
What? Oh... That was you again! Actually, Obama once voted for a budget bill that might have affected some singles with no children makin’ $42,000, but a couple would have had to earn $83,000 to be affected and a family of four at least $90,000.
But Joe really got it wrong when he said:
“He's proposing a $5,000 tax credit for families so that they can get out there and they can purchase their own health care coverage. That's a smart thing to do. That's budget neutral.”
Doggone it! That was you again, talkin’ about McCane’s plan. Actually, the Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center says McCain's plan, which would cover, at the most, 5 million of the uninsured, would increase the deficit by $1.3 trillion over 10 years.
Again--it’s a good thing you were there ta set Joe straight!
But--again--the important thing is ya stepped over the bar without gettin’ yer high heels caught on it! Ya looked right into the camera and ya never looked like a moose caught in the headlights! Gwen Ifill didn’t ask any “gottcha” questions like the Liberal Katie Couric, so ya didn’t have to remember what newspapers ya read, or what Supreme Court decisions ya didn’t like, or what was that doggone Bush Doctrine!
All ya had to remember was that John McCane is a maverick and Barack Obama wants ta raise everybody’s taxes and we can’t wave the white flag of surrender over there in I-rack!
And--again--John McCane’s a maverick! You betcha!
P.S. I bet yer wonderin’ how Lester’s science test came out. He did fine. He said the Lord made Adam and Eve the year after He made dinosaurs. And--again--that was 6000 years ago.
P.P.S. Could you please send Lester an autographed photo? Send one of you winking. He really likes it when ya wink.