Sunday, April 20, 2008
77 West 66th Street
New York, New York 10023
Dear George Stephanopoulos,
That was the most shoddy piece of “journalism” I’ve ever seen!
You and Charlie Gibson had Barack and Hillary in your sites for two whole hours and you couldn’t put them away! This was the moment when you and Charlie could have become the next Cronkite and Sevaried! The next Woodward and Bernstein! The next Hannity and Colmes! But no, you flushed your moment down the toilet!
The whole world was waiting for the question that never came. The question that would help America decide once and for all who should be the next president. The question that would decide the fate of the Iraq war, the economy, global warming, and the world. The question that was on every American’s lips but never was asked. And here it is:
“Senator Obama, what makes you think you’re qualified to be President of the United States when you’re such a lousy bowler?”
How could you be so dumb?! Hillary says she’s a better bowler than Barack, but did you press her on it? Have you requested that she hand over her old bowling scores? And what about McCain? Has it ever occurred to you that at his age, even Obama could beat him?
This is an issue that should have been probed in depth! America needs to know which candidate is the best bowler! But no--you were asleep at the switch!
And bowling isn't the only important issue you totally ignored. This week it’s been all over the news that Hillary knocked down a shot of whiskey in a bar. Now I’m not a professional like you, but even I noticed that she only drank half of it. You missed the obvious question which was:
“Senator Clinton, what do you say to your critics who think drinking only half a shot of whiskey smacks of elitism?”
Speaking of elite, you totally missed your chance to expose Barack Obama’s elitism by not asking him any questions about how he was born to a white mother and a Kenyan father, was raised in Indonesia by his single mother and then by his grandparents in Hawaii, worked as a community organizer in Chicago, and then worked his way through Columbia University and Harvard Law School.
Just who does he think he is, anyway?!
And what about his middle name? What about the blogs that say he’s a Muslim? You didn’t even ask him:
“Senator Obama, have you ever said the Pledge of Allegiance? And a follow up question: If you have, did you put your hand over your heart?”
These are the burning questions America wants to know! And here’s the question we’re all waiting for:
“Senator Clinton, when was the last time you slept with your husband?”
To which she would have smiled and said, “George, Bill and I sleep together whenever we can. We enjoy climbing into bed with a big stack of position papers and studying them until we can’t keep our eyes open anymore.” To which you could have said:
“Let me rephrase the question, Senator Clinton: When was the last time you knew your husband in a biblical sense?”
But no, the question never came, and America is poorer for it. I’m writing this to you because between you and me, I think Charlie Gibson is hopeless. I think he’d rather talk about the percentage cap on estate taxes than ask when the last time was that Hillary baked cookies!
But you, of all people, should know better! You were Bill Clinton’s senior political advisor! You know you have to ask the tough questions like:
“Senator Osama--I mean Obama, is it true you once ate at a restaurant that Louis Farrakhan once ate at?”
Because those are the questions the Republicans will ask in the fall. And if you don’t ask those questions, they won’t be news and maybe the Republicans won’t ask them either!
And then where will we be? With a Democrat in the White House and the terrorists at our door! This is irresponsible journalism, George Stephanopoulos! Our country is at stake! If you can’t ask the tough questions, then get out of the way and leave the reporting to real journalists like Matt Drudge and Rush Limbaugh!
P.S. Remember when Tim Russert asked Dennis Kucinich about UFO’s? How come you never asked Clinton and Obama if they’ve seen UFO’s? How can we know our candidates if you don’t ask the penetrating questions? This is just the kind of sloppy, shallow reporting I’m complaining about!
P.P.P.S. Could you please send a picture? Autographed? Make it out to my grandson, Lester. You’re his favorite serious journalist. He likes you even better than Katie Couric!