Sunday, February 25, 2007
Carl's Point originates on KCUP-1230 AM radio in Newport, Oregon on Tuesdays at 7:26 a.m., repeating Thursdays at 6:26 a.m. Engineer: Shannon O'Neil
Note: To receive the full impact of Carl's Point, it must be heard! Click on the audio icon for the total Carl experience!
Carl: Today I want to offer my solution to that vexing problem known as Iran. I can sum it up in one word and here it is:
Nuke ‘em into next week! And nuke ‘em into next week this week!
Here’s why: They’re our enemies! And they’re trying to protect their borders from us! We have to fight them over there in Iran so we don’t have to fight them over there in Iraq!
Voice: We interrupt the war to give you late breaking news! Anna Nicole Smith has been spotted with Elvis in Carney, Nebraska!
Carl: . . . and besides, we have ten thousand nucular warheads. If Iran builds one by the year 2017, we’ll only be 9,999 ahead of them!
Voice: We interrupt the war to give you late breaking news! Britney Spears has escaped from rehab and dyed her bald head green!
Carl: . . . I just think that guy Ack-ma-banana-fana-fo-fana-jad is a lunatic! We should never forget what he did to us on 9-11!
Voice: We interrupt the war to give you late breaking news! We have an unconfirmed rumor from an unnamed source that Paris Hilton is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby!
Carl: And now, the British are going home which proves we won in Iraq! We beat Iraq, we’ll beat Iran, too! (Anna Nicole) We killed the evil dictator, Saddam Hussein (Anna Nicole Smith) because he had WMD(s). And now, we’ll kill the evil dictator, Ack-ma-jihad (Britney . . . Britney Spears) because maybe he’ll have WMD(s) someday--in ten years or so, or at least he’d like to! (Anna Nicole’s body) The point is, America needs Iraq’s oil! (We interrupt the war to give you late breaking news!) America needs Iran’s oil! (Paris Hilton) We need everybody’s oil! Haven’t you noticed how many SUV’s we have? (Paris Hilton) And speaking of ten years or so (Paris Hilton), by then He Who Must Not Be Named (but I’ll give you a hint: the first three syllables are Osama Bin Laden), (Anna Nicole’s body) anyway, (Anna Nicole’s baby) maybe by then he’ll be dead and then My President, who will be the Longest Serving American President of All Time, can say, (The father of Anna Nicole’s baby) “We won the war on terror!” (Anna Nicole’s body)
I’m Carl Estrada and that’s my point. (Anna Nicole’s body)