Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger
14215 Sunset Blvd.
Pacific Palisades, CA 90272
Dear Mr. Schwarzenegger,
You sure know how to pick your political party! What other party besides the Republicans could have won two non-violent coups in three years? First, they swipe the White House right out from under Al Gore’s nose, and now they’re going to liberate the governorship of California--and not a drop of blood was spilled!
Even if you don’t win, you can make a movie and call it:
The Republicans: Masters of the White Collar Coups!
But of course, you’re a Republican so they’ll make sure you win. I think another reason you joined the Republicans is so you can be president some day. Since you were born an Austrian citizen, there’s a little problem about being ineligible. You’re a smart guy and I can see you thinking, “Who con take care of zis problem? Well, it’s shoor not going to be zee Demos!” By the time Bush is out of office, I’m sure your party will have passed a law saying that Austrians who become American citizens can be president. Then you’re in!
Also, I heard that you decided to join the Republicans after you heard Nixon debate Humphrey. I suppose you didn’t understand English very well then, but still it was obvious who was better. I know you don’t always agree with those “neocons” who are running things now--I guess you could say you’re a “Nixonion Republican.”
Which color Hummer are you going to ride in the Inaugural Parade?
Schwarzenegger for Governor!
A Nixonion Republican!
Sincerely,
Carl Estrada