Monday, August 07, 2006
Carl’s Point originates on KCUP-AM radio in Newport, Oregon, Tuesdays at 7:26 a.m., repeating Thursdays at 6:26 a.m.
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I’ve been all around this great big world in my 45 foot motor home with my Hummer hitched to the back, and I’ve learned a lot! Here’s what I’ve learned:
I learned America is the greatest country in the world! We’re the only country that flies the American flag! I went to Canada and guess what? They don’t even fly the American flag up there! I saw Canadian flags and French flags and English flags, but the only American flags I saw were bumper stickers on American cars!
I learned Canadians are really nice, and that’s why we have to bomb them. Do you know they have terrorists hiding there? The Canadians are too polite to do anything about it, so we’ll just have to annihilate our neighbors to root out the terrorists! It’s working for Israel, it’ll work for us too!
I learned gas is really expensive, especially at nine miles per gallon.
I learned global warming isn’t really so bad if your motor home has good air conditioning.
And, I learned sleeping in a Hummer isn’t so bad, either. That’s where my wife, Viola, has been making me sleep ever since I bought it instead of the Prius Hybrid she wanted.
Well, it’s been a great vacation, but it’ll be nice to come home and sleep in my own bed. Either that or out in the Hummer.
I’m Carl Estrada, somewhere in the USA, and that’s my point.