The oceans are rising! Forests are burning! Terrorists on the loose! Donald Trump is running amok!
This is a job for.... Carl Estrada!
 
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Monday, February 27, 2006
Carl’s Point originates on KCUP 1230-AM radio in Newport, Oregon,  Tuesday at 7:26 a.m., repeating Thursday at 6:26 a.m.  (Note: To achieve the full Carl’s Point experience, don’t just read it--listen to it!)

     Carl Estrada here, and I admit it:  I was wrong.

     It all started three weeks ago, when four secret servicemen jumped me and handcuffed me and threw a hood over my head.  The last thing I remember was a needle sticking in my arm, and then everything went blank.

     I woke up still handcuffed and hooded on the floor of an airplane cage.  A guard told me they were taking me to Gitmo for extreme interrogation techniques.  I asked him what I’d done and he said, “We’ve been monitoring your phone calls and emails, and you seem to be obsessed with the president.”

     “I am!  I am!” I said.  “I love My President more than life itself!”

     And he said, “Mr. Estrada, I suggest. . . .

     We interrupt our regular programming to announce an armed suspect on the loose.  He is described as a Caucasian male in his late sixties, balding with white hair, approximately five feet-eleven and over two hundred fifty pounds.  Identifiable characteristics are stooped posture and a tendency to turn the left side of his mouth upward when he speaks.  The suspect is known to secretly stock his victims, kidnap them, torture them, and kill them.  He most recently shot his friend in the face.  Suspect is thought to be armed with a twenty-eight guage shotgun and should be considered extremely dangerous.  We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

      . . . so I was wrong about the United Arab Emirates.  If My President thinks it’s a good idea for them to guard our ports, then so do I!

     Anyway, I’m glad to be home and the secret service has apologized for the mix-up.  They felt so bad, they gave me a special honor.  Next week, I get to go quail hunting with Vice President Cheney!

I’m Carl Estrada and that’s my point.


 

 
 
 
 
 


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