Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Thursday, December 08, 2005
carl to mel 12-05

Mel Gibson
23333 Palm Canyon Lane
Malibu, CA 90265-4956

Dear Governor Gibson,

Did you notice I called you "Governor" Gibson? I was just practicing.

The reason I‚m practicing calling you Governor Gibson is because there’s a movement to draft you to overthrow the liberal heathen Arnold Schwarzenegger. Here‚s what Mike Spence, president of the California Republican Assembly said:

"He (you) seems to be more consistent with the Republican message."

Isn’t that the truth?! For one thing, I can never understand what Schwarzenegger is saying, so how can I even know if he’s consistent with the Republican message? I think an Australian would make a much better California governor than an Austrian! At least I could understand you half the time!

By the way, what’s your favorite Governor Gibson movie of all-time? You probably think mine is Passion of the Christ, but it’s only my 5th favorite. Don‚t get me wrong--it’s a great movie. I especially like the scenes where Jesus is being tortured in slow motion. How did you make it so realistic? The special effects were amazing! The only problem is, I think you should have played Jesus. You look so much like Him! I know you‚re too old for the part, but you’d be amazed what they can do with make-up these days.

But my favorite Governor Gibson movies of all-time were Lethal Weapon I-IV. Remember when Sgt. Riggs (you) pretended he was the Three Stooges and said "Whoop, whoop," and poked the bad guys in both eyes with two fingers? If you ever make a sequel to Passion of the Christ, you should play Jesus and do that to the Romans. It might help lighten things up.

Also, when you’re Governor Gibson, do you think you’ll execute Tookie Williams? The reason I ask is, I think the liberal heathen Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to wimp out and let him live. That’s the trouble with the liberals! They don’t understand this country was founded on Christian principles! They never stop and think about what Jesus would want us to do, like say "Merry Christmas" and torture terror suspects and execute Tookie Williams!

Put Jesus back where He belongs! In the California governor’s mansion! And if the liberal heathen Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t like it, just say, "Whoop, whoop," and poke him in both eyes!

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

P.S. I want to be the first to contribute to the Mel Gibson for Governor campaign. Here’s a quarter. I pledge to send you a quarter every month until you’re governor!

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