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Friday, September 09, 2005

Mrs. Barbara (“Babs”) Bush
Former First Lady to “41” and Current First Mother to “43”
George Bush Presidential Library and Museum
1000 George Bush Drive West
College Station, TX 77845

Dear Mrs. Former First Lady to “41” and Current First Mother to “43”:

Now I get it!

I’ve always wondered where My President gets his patented brand of “Compassionate Conservatism,” and now I know: He’s a chip off the Old Block!

Whoops--sorry! I didn’t mean to call you an “Old Block.” It’s just that I heard you talking about the Underprivileged African-American Refugees who got to take a free vacation in the Superdome, and you said:

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

I have a question: Are you a Crosby, Stills, and Nash fan? Here’s why I ask: Remember their song, “Teach Your Children Well?” That could be your theme song! It just goes to show what happens when a mother sets a good example for Her Son! Family Values!

Barbara Bush, step right up! You’re Mother of the Year!

Fact:
Under Your Son and My President’s leadership, some Underprivileged African-American Refugees who didn’t even qualify for food stamps before Hurricane Katrina, are now getting free food vouchers! You see? It is working out well for them!

But Your Son and My President is an Equal Opportunity Compassionate Conservative! He doesn’t only care about the Underprivileged African-American Refugees--He cares about Trent Lott, too! Here’s what He said:

"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house — he's lost his entire house — there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."

I have a question: Does Trent Lott play the guitar? The reason I ask is the night Hurricane Katrina hit, I found out Your Son and My President plays guitar. So I was just wondering if Your Son and My President wants to sit on Trent Lott’s front porch so they can pick guitars together. What a jam session that would be! They could sing, “Look Away, Dixieland.”

They could sing, “Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out.”

They could sing, “Bye, Bye, Blackbird.”

Anyway, I know this whole Hurricane Katrina thing has you worried sick. The reason I know is because you were talking about the Underprivileged African-American Refugees, and you said:

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas.”

I can’t believe you said that! I can only think one thing: Your Son and My President may have learned compassion from you, but He got His intelligence from His dad! No offense, Mrs. Former First Lady and Current First Mother, but if you had any vision at all, you’d see that with all the Underprivileged African-American Refugees coming to Texas, you’re going get your pool cleaned and your toilets scrubbed and your golf course manicured for slave wages!

Just breathe deeply and relax! Take your own advice! Remember what you said when Your Son and My President attacked Iraq so we could learn the lessons of 9-11? Here’s what you said:

"Why should we hear about body bags, and deaths, and how many, what day it's gonna happen, and how many this or what do you suppose? It's not relevant. So, why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?"

You see? Stop being so negative! Stick to the positive! Always look at the bright side! Count your blessings! You have a wonderful family and a wonderful home and you’re warm and fat and happy, and cheap help is on the way!

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

 

 
 
 
 
 


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