The oceans are rising! Forests are burning! Terrorists on the loose! Donald Trump is running amok!
This is a job for.... Carl Estrada!
 
 Sections
 

Home

New Letters

Carl 2022
Carl 2021
Carl 2020
Carl 2019
Carl 2018
Carl 2017
MR. TRUMP
Hillary
Carl 2016
Brad Cahoon
Letters 2009
Letters: 2007 & 2008
YouTube
Carl's Point 2007
Carl's Point
Brad's Letters
2006 Letters
Buddies of Bob
Letters to bush 2005
open
Dear Mr. President
open
The Current Administration
open
Politicians and Presidential Wannabes
open
The Liberal Media
open
Religious Superstars
open
Celebrities
Corporations and CEOs
World Leaders
Paul's Page
 

Replies
The Complete Carl List

Links

* DemocracyMeansYou.com
* Paul Chasman Guitar Music
* Email Paul Chasman
* Order The Book of Bob Online
* My Page on the Book Marketeer
* Blue Funk Productions

* My YouTube Debut!
* Another YouTube Video!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Mr. Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove
Deputy Chief of Staff
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington DC 20500

Dear Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove,

Did you notice I called you “Turd Blossom?” It wasn’t my idea to call you “Turd Blossom.” I’m just a neighborhood grocer. I could never think of anything that clever. I don’t want to give away the identity of the guy who made up your nickname, “Turd Blossom,” because I don’t want you to get mad at Him. So I’ll just give you a clue: He’s Laura Bush’s husband.

I heard you and “Scooter” Libby didn’t tell those reporters that Joseph Wilson’s wife is a CIA spy after all. They told you! Now it makes sense! I bet you get all your top secret information from Michael Cooper and Bob Novak! How else would you stay in the loop?

By the way, did you know “Scooter” Libby works for Lynne Cheney’s husband? I don’t want to reveal Lynne Cheney’s husband’s name because, if you didn’t tell Cooper and Novak about Joseph Wilson’s wife, and “Scooter” Libby didn’t tell them, that narrows the field. Who could it be?

It wouldn’t be Laura Bush’s husband, because how would He know?

I don’t think Alma Powell’s husband would out a CIA spy, even if he was the senior State Department official who delivered the memo to you on Air Force One. You know--the one that was marked (S) for secret and named Joseph Wilson’s wife--the one you didn’t read.

Maybe it was Rebecca Fleischer’s husband who didn’t out the CIA spy. Do you know who Rebecca Fleischer’s husband is? I’ll give you two hints:

Hint #1: Rebecca Fleischer’s husband used to have the job press secretary Scott McClellan has now.
Hint #2: Rebecca Fleischer’s husband was much better at it than Jill Martinez-McClellan’s husband.

Anyway, Rebecca Fleischer’s husband was seen on Air Force One reading the secret memo that Alma Powell’s husband brought on board that named Joseph Wilson’s wife. I guess Rebecca Fleischer’s husband pocketed the memo because nobody else has seen it. He must be pretty proud to know something that even Laura Bush’s husband and Lynne Cheney’s husband didn’t know!

Speaking of Lynne Cheney--did you know she wrote a book? It’s true! She wrote a book called “Sisters.” It’s got everything--a great story, steamy sex, love, adventure, and more steamy sex. Here’s a sample:

“Let us go away together, away from the anger and imperatives of men. We shall find ourselves a secluded bower where they dare not venture. There will be only the two of us, and we shall linger through long afternoons of sweet retirement. In the evenings I shall read to you while you work your cross-stitch in the firelight. And then we shall go to bed, our bed, my dearest girl.”

The reason I’m telling you about Lynne Cheney’s book is sometimes we find ourselves with lots of free time on our hands, and when we do, it’s a great time to catch up on our reading. Maybe I’ll make you a list of my favorite books--just in case.

Another book I’d like to recommend if you have free time is “Born Again” by Chuck Colson--whoops--Patricia Colson’s husband. Patricia Colson’s husband once said, “God take me as I am!” That was right before Alabama’s Maxwell Prison took him as he was for being a Watergate co-conspirator.

(S) MEMO: VIOLA ESTRADA’S HUSBAND TO “TURD BLOSSOM”:

We have enemies among us! The Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is breathing down your neck! The CIA is turning on you! Did you hear what the former CIA analyst, Larry Johnson said? Here’s what he said:

“Call the ugly dog the ugly dog!”

At least he didn’t say call the ugly dog a “Turd Blossom.” But he wasn’t finished! Then he said:

"Where are these men and women with any integrity to speak out against this? I expect better behavior out of Republicans."

And Larry Johnson’s a Republican! He’s the one who should be arrested for treason!

Fight back! Take no prisoners! Give those liberals who are accusing you of being a traitor the old “Turd Blossom” treatment and they’ll knuckle under faster than you can say “high crimes and misdemeanors!”

Sincerely,
Viola Estrada’s Husband

 

 
 
 
 
 


Home * New Letters * Carl 2022 * Carl 2021 * Carl 2020 * Carl 2019 * Carl 2018 * Carl 2017 * MR. TRUMP * Hillary * Carl 2016 * Brad Cahoon * Letters 2009 * Letters: 2007 & 2008 * YouTube * Carl's Point 2007 * Carl's Point * Brad's Letters * 2006 Letters * Buddies of Bob * Letters to bush 2005 * Dear Mr. President * The Current Administration * Politicians and Presidential Wannabes * The Liberal Media * Religious Superstars * Celebrities * Corporations and CEOs * World Leaders * Paul's Page * Replies

The Carl Letters Email Us

If you are experiencing difficulties using this site, please email us