Sunday, August 22, 2004
August 23, 2004
Senator Bob Dole
c/o Alston & Bird, North Building
601 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.
Washington, DC 20004
Dear Senator Dole,
Darn! Just when people were starting to forget why they voted for Clinton instead of you--and now you’ve reminded them! Remember what they used to say?:
Bob Dole is dark. Bob Dole is sour. Bob Dole the mortician. Bob Dole looks like Nixon with that 4 o’clock shadow.
And you were doing so well at sunnying up your image! Ever since Clinton beat you, it’s been:
Bob Dole with the dry sense of humor. Bob Dole with the rapier-like wit. Bob Dole, First Husband to beloved Senator Elizabeth. Bob Dole on the Viagra commercials. Bob Dole with the botoxed face.
And then you have to blow all the good work you’ve been doing and say this about the Flip-Flopping Frenchman:
“And here's, you know, a good guy, a good friend. I respect his record, but three Purple Hearts and never bled that I know of. I mean, they're all superficial wounds."
Good friend?! What were you thinking?! This is Our President’s mortal enemy! This is the Democratic candidate who is leading Our President in the polls! You’re talking about the Flip-Flopping Jane Fonda-Loving Liberal Frenchman from Massachusetts with the Insubstantial Senate Record Who Lied about his War Record and Won’t Keep America Safe from al-Qaeda! With “good friends” like that, who needs enemies?! Then you said:
”But three Purple Hearts and never bled, that I know of? I mean, they're all superficial wounds. And as far as I know, he's never spent one day in the hospital.”
Maybe that’s because all the VA hospitals were closed. Did Nixon close VA hospitals, too? I thought it was just Our President who closed all those VA hospitals.
”He doesn't have any disability — and boasting about three Purple Hearts, when you think of some of the people who really got shot up in Vietnam..."
Like you! You have some Purple Hearts to boast about! You got your right arm shattered and it’s still paralyzed! What a wimp the Frenchman is! But then, Max Cleland got his legs blown off and his arm blown off, so maybe that makes you a wimp. Then there are all the soldiers who were killed. I guess they make Max Cleland a wimp.
Anyway, the Frenchman says he still has shrapnel in his leg. I’m no expert, but I guess if everytime you go to the airport, your war injuries set off the metal detector, maybe you should get a purple heart.
Here’s what the regulations say:
"A wound which necessitates treatment by a medical officer and which is received in action with an enemy, may, in the judgment of the commander authorized to make the award, be construed as resulting from a singularly meritorious act of essential service."
Hmm...I don’t see anything about hospitalization or shattered right arms or triple amputations. I think you’re starting to sound dark again. Sour.
You’d better stop now before you get in over your head. Politics ain’t beanbag! Look at the hatchet job the Democrats have done on the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. The veterans tried to perform a public service, and now their reputations are trashed! They’re running for cover faster than Our President at an Army Recruiting Center! Look at what the dirty Demos have done to their reputations:
SWIFT BOAT VETERANS FOR TRUTH!
George Elliott--signs an affidavit that Kerry shot a Vietnamese in the back, later retracts it. FRAUD!
Alfred French--signs an affidavit that Kerry “lied about his record,” later retracts it. FRAUD!
Adrian Lonsdale--says Kerry “lacks the capacity to lead” after saying he was “among the finest Swift boat drivers.” FRAUD!
Roy Hoffman--says “Kerry has not been honest” after saying Kerry’s actions “took guts. I admire that.” FRAUD!
Van O’Dell--says “Kerry lied” about coming under enemy fire. Official reports say, “All units began receiving small arms and automatic weapons fire from the river bank.” FRAUD!
Dr. Louis Letson--claims he treated Kerry and that Kerry lied about his injury. He didn’t treat Kerry. FRAUD!
Larry Thurlow--claims he was with Kerry and there was no enemy fire. (See Van O’Dell.) FRAUD!
John O’Neill--continues his lifelong Wile Coyote impersonation in a mission to destroy Kerry, beginning 30 years ago as hitman for Colson/Nixon, and continuing today with funds from the Republican party billionaire, Robert J. Perry. FRAUD!
Air Force Colonol Ken Cordier--works both sides of the fence, on the Swift Boat Veterans commercial and for the Republicans. Forced to resign his job as Republican advisor. FRAUD!
Steve Schmidt--Bush/Cheney ‘04 campaign spokesman says he has no idea how Swift Boat Veterans for Truth fliers ended up in a Florida Republican campaign office. FRAUD!
You see? It’s not worth it, Senator! If you keep telling the truth, you’ll get ground up by the Democratic Sleaze Machine! They’ll say it’s sour grapes because you think it should have been you, not Clinton, who balanced the budget! It should have been you, not Clinton, who had eight years of peace and prosperity! It should have been you, not Clinton, with Monica Lewinsky!
Keep your head down! Go back to the one-liners and the Viagra commercials! They’ve been working for you!
Support Our Troops! Re-elect George W. Bush!
Support Our Troops! Reopen the VA hospitals!
Support Our Troops! Give them a raise!
Support Our Troops! Send them flak jackets!
Support Our Troops! Send them helmets!
Support Our Troops! Feed them three meals a day!
Support Our Troops! Give their spouses food stamps!
P.S. Could you please send me a picture of yourself? Autographed? Make it out to my grandson, Lester. You’re his favorite Purple Heart recipient. He prays for you every night.