Sunday, August 08, 2004
August 9, 2004
John E. O’Neill
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth
PO Box 26184
Alexandria, VA 22313
Dear Mr. O’Neill,
I just want to be the first to congratulate you on getting your new book published, “Unfit to Command.” It’s about time somebody set the record straight!
And who better than you to finally tell the world that The Flip-Flopping Frenchman With the Undistinguished Senate Record faked his war injuries and faked the rescue of his crewmate and shot a Vietnamese kid in the back and not only that, but I bet he never really saved his daughter’s gerbil either!
You are the best qualified person I can think of to finally dig up the truth! Your resume is as long as the The Flip-Flopping Frenchman’s arm! You’ve been at it ever since Chuck Colson hired you to be Nixon’s point man to expose Kerry in 1971! You debated him on the Dick Cavett show and you won! It says so right on your Swift Board Veterans for Truth website!
But the Flip-Flopping Frenchman With the Undistinguished Senate Record just won’t go away. Now, 30+ years later, it’s your duty as an American to expose him again! From Nixon to Bush. What a ride it’s been!
Speaking of Swift Board Veterans For Truth, how’s the the TV ad going? I hear there’s a problem with George Elliott, one of the Truthtellers. First he signed an affidavit saying Kerry “shot a wounded, fleeing Viet Cong in the back,” and that’s how he got his Silver Star. But then he said he was pressured into it and:
"It was a terrible mistake probably for me to sign the affidavit with those words. I'm the one in trouble here...I knew it was wrong. ... In a hurry I signed it and faxed it back. That was a mistake."
Talk about flip-flops!
Stop worrying! All those people who saw your TV ad probably don’t read the newspaper anyway! The important thing is now they know the Truth.
Speaking of Chuck Colson and Nixon, who was your favorite Watergate co-conspirator? No offense to your mentor, but Chuck Colson was only my second favorite. I liked him best when he was Born Again in jail. But do you know who my favorite Watergate co-conspirator was?
Donald Segretti, captain of the Team Watergate Dirty Tricks Unit! Didn’t you love that guy? Remember when Segretti wrote that fake letter on Edmund Muskie’s stationary saying Scoop Jackson had an illegitimate child? It worked! Muskie ended up crying like a baby and dropping out of the presidential race! Remember when Segretti spread the rumor that Hubert Humphrey was going out with call girls? What a kidder that Segretti was!
And now Segretti is an attorney in Orange County. Just like you! Except you’re in Houston. Anyway, we’ve come a long way since the Watergate days. Poor Nixon was always getting beat up by the press! Remember when he said?:
"The (expletive deleted) press can do anything it wants! It's the (expletive deleted) Eastern Establishment. Sue the (expletive deleted)! Forget the Democrats, sue the (expletive deleted) media!”
At least the press is more Fair and Balanced now. At least Hannity and Hume and O’Reilly let you come on their shows and tell the Truth and show your commercials, and they didn’t try to trip you up with “gottcha” questions like:
“Did members of Swift Board Veterans for Truth ever serve with The Flip-Flopping Frenchman?” or:
“Why does your group member, Dr. Louis Letson, say in the commercial that The Flip-Flopping Frenchman’s injury was only a scratch when he wasn’t the one who treated The Flip-Flopping-Frenchman?” or:
“What support does your group receive from the Republican party?”
Anyway, I’m glad the press is finally giving you a fair shake and Regnery Publishing Company went out on a limb to print your book. They’ve done it again! Who else but Regnery Publishing would dare tell the real story? Who else except those Truth Crusaders who have published:
One-of-a-kind life-lessons and pearls of wisdom from Denny Hastert.
In Defense of Internment
The post-World War II critics are challenged in this controversial justification of internment, and its implications for Bush’s war on terror.
The case against gay marriage, and how it threatens our institutions and our core values.
The Real Jimmy Carter
Demolishes the myth of “Saint” Jimmy and exposes how he created today’s leftist Democratic party of John Kerry and Hillary Clinton.
Prepare the way for President Hillary! Her Dark Road to the White House Revealed at Last!
Anyway, I have a statement and a question. The statement is: Congratulations! The question is: All the guys who actually served with The Flip-Flopping Frenchman say his story is true. Do you think he paid them all off? Maybe Teresa Heinz did--she can afford it!
You’ve been telling America the Truth for 30 years! Don’t stop now!