Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Wednesday, March 10, 2004
3-11-04
Attorney General John Ashcroft
U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20530-0001

Dear Attorney General Ashcroft,

I hope you are feeling well after your gall bladder surgery. Did the hospital make you sign one of those forms authorizing them to “disclose (your) medical records to federal officials for national security activities...”? I guess it wouldn’t matter to you because you’d just be turning your records over to yourself.

I hate to bother you when you’re recovering from surgery, but did you hear what Mel Gibson said? He said he killed Jesus! I’m not making this up--he admitted it on national television! Diane Sawyer asked him who killed Jesus, and here’s what he said: "The big answer is, we all did. I'll be the first in the culpability stakes here."

That sounds like an airtight confession to me. If you watch the movie, you can tell he was there. He knew exactly how it happened! Also, remember when they showed a close-up of Jesus’ hand getting crucified? Guess whose hand was pounding the nail? Mel Gibson’s hand! He said so on Diane Sawyer! They say a criminal always leaves clues.

But my first question is, who are “we all?” It makes me think there were more people than just Mel Gibson involved--I think he was the ringleader in a conspiracy! I know you’re just recovering from surgery, but you have to start an investigation right away! This is huge! My only worry is--this happened a long time ago. What’s the statute of limitations?

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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