Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Pat Robertson
CBN Partner Correspondence
977 Centerville Turnpike
Virginia Beach, Virginia 23463

Dear Pat,

I have a theological question: Who does God pray to?

The question came up when I wrote you that letter the other day and I was telling you my pet peeve, which is when people pray to God for trivial things. Like before a football game when the Dallas Cowboys hold hands in the locker room and pray to God they’ll win, and in the other locker room the Oakland Raiders also pray to God they’ll win? Who does God listen to? Maybe the Dallas Cowboys because they’re “America’s Team,” and the Oakland Raiders are such “bad boys,” but sometimes God’s decisions aren’t that easy.

I bet George W. Bush prays to God every day that he’ll catch Bin Laden before the next election (hopefully right before), and Bin Laden probably prays to God every day that he’ll kill lots of infidels. It reminds me of my cats--they fight all the time. I used to break them up--I’d shoot a water pistol at them and they’d dash off in different directions. But I got tired of it, so now when they fight, I just walk past the flying fur and try to stay out of the way. They probably think I’m God! I guess it helps me understand how He feels when He’s always getting caught in the middle of our fights. Pretty soon He just throws up His hands and says, “You guys work it out.”

I know my dogs think I’m God. They think it’s a miracle that I can open a can of Alpo! So I guess it’s all a matter of perspective.

Anyway, it got me wondering who God prays to, and what does He pray for? Does He pray that His universe will stop expanding before it blows up? Does He pray that He can win a fight against the universe next-door so He can make it safe for Democracy? Does He pray the Rams will move back to LA?

The more you study these things, the more questions come up.

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada