Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Attorney General John Ashcroft
U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20530-0001

Dear Mr. Ashcroft,

I just want to tell you what a great job you’re doing. You’re an American’s American!

I think it’s important you hear it, because I know you’re always having to deal with those namby-pamby liberals who are always carping about the Constitution and civil rights and due process! What a bunch of wimps! Don’t they know there’s a war going on?! Don’t they remember 9/11?

I know you remember 9/11. I can tell, because ever since then, you look terrible--you’ve got those dark bags under your eyes and your face looks like it’s under a lot of strain--not like those happy-go-lucky days when your web site picture was taken. Maybe you should take a vacation. Those prisoners at Guantanamo aren’t going anywhere. You haven’t caught Bin Laden yet, so what makes you think you will in the next couple of weeks? Sometimes when you get away, you come back fresh and things just fall into place. Take the wife on a cruise--I hear the rates are real cheap now because the cruise ships are floating casinos that make all their money on the slots. Then when you come back, you might have a whole new idea about how to catch Bin Laden.

One more thing before I go--I thought Operation Tips was a great idea, and I think you shouldn’t give up on it, even if the Ted Kennedy’s of the world don’t like it. That kind of thing worked really well in Communist China--I say it’s worth a try here.

God Bless America! (Christian or Mormon God, that is.)
Carl Estrada