Monday, May 12, 2003
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Well, that’s exactly what I was afraid of. You made that grand entrance on the S.S. Abraham Lincoln -- flying that fighter plane yourself, making that spectacular landing, strutting out in full uniform -- I’ve got to say, that was impressive! You looked like you had actually flown a mission over Iraq yourself! But there was one thing wrong--you got out there with the flags waving and the sea at your back and the marines cheering and, Mr. President, your American flag pin was crooked!
I was afraid my last letter about your lapel pin being crooked wouldn’t get to you on time. And now, you had the most perfect photo-op in history ruined. You just can’t use those clips for the next election--not with your flag pin being crooked. Can you imagine what a field day your Democratic opponent would have with that? (Who do you think that will be, anyway? I still think it’ll be Hillary. Would you like to debate her?)
I have an idea. Have you ever heard of Photo Shop? It’s this great computer program where you can alter a picture in any way you want. You can make yourself look taller or change the color of your tie or put more American flags in the background--do you see where I’m going? I think with Photo Shop you could straighten out the flag pin on your lapel!
I’ll be watching the clips to see if that works. By now, I hope you will have gotten my message and we won’t have to worry about your crooked pin anymore!
Your faithful servant,
Carl Estrada