Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Monday, May 19, 2003
5-20-03
Krispy Kreme Doughnut Corporation
PO Box 83
Winston-Salem, NC 27103

Dear Crispy Cream,

Did you notice how I spelled “Crispy Cream?” Dude, I was over at my girlfriend’s house and she has this dictionary? Well, I checked it out--Krispy is spelled with a C not a K. And Kreme you got all wrong. It’s: C-R-E-A-M, not K-R-E-M-E. I just thought being as big a company as you are, you’d want to spell your name right. It would help your business.

Also, I saw that your Doughnut of the Week is Chocolate Malt Kreme (Cream). Yummy! I couldn’t find the nutrition chart on that one. The closest one I could find was the Yeast-Chocolate Ice Glazed Doughnut Ring (with Sprinkles). Is that kind of the same? That one has 260 calories, 12 grams of fat, 36 grams of carbs and 23 grams of sugar. It’s got 3 grams of protein, no vitamins, calcium, or iron. I’d sure like to eat a Chocolate Malt Kreme (Cream), but I wonder if the nutrition values are the same. I always read the labels cause I, like, surf? So staying in shape is way important. I snowboard too.

You’ve probably figured out by now that the reason I’m writing is I’m looking for a job. President Bush is a great and forceful leader, but his economy is harsh! Anyway, you can see how on top of things I would be if I worked for your company. I could help you with your spelling and I’d memorize the nutritional info on all our doughnuts.

I’m willing to relocate.

Sincerely,

Brad Cahoon