Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Sunday, October 12, 2003
Donald H. Rumsfeld
Secretary of Defense
1000 Defense Pentagon
Washington, DC 20301-1000

Dear Secretary Rumsfeld,

Don’t you understand Iraqi?!

Just kidding. The real reason I’m writing you is to give you some good news after you’ve had a bad week. I’ve been in touch with the Ford Motor Company, and I think I’ve got them sold on my idea to name a car after you. It will look a lot like the Humvee (Hummer) and it will have a replica of your head for a hood ornament, and it will be called (get this):

THE FORD HUMSFELD!!!

The beauty of this idea is this will give you a perfect payback to Condi Rice. We all know how she swiped Iraq right out from under your nose and talked the president into letting her take charge of the Iraq Stablization Group (ISG). What most people don’t know is, with very little fanfare, Chevron renamed their oil tanker from the Condoleezza Rice to the Altair Voyager. Can you imagine the look on her face when she finds out you’ve had an SUV named after you and she can’t even keep her name on an oil tanker?! Also, I have it on good authority that there’s going to be a line of Ford Norton SUV’s coming out, based on my concept. I didn’t think you’d mind--you don’t have a beef with Gale Norton, do you? (She’s the Secretary of the Interior.)

Anyway, if you get squeezed out as Secretary of Defense, you will still have the legacy of the Ford Humsfeld. I can see you in the commercials--sticking your head out of the skylight, in full battle uniform, looking down the sights of an M16, American flags waving everywhere. Meanwhile, Condi Rice will be taking the blame for everything that’s going wrong in Iraq, and you’ll be a hero!

Just one question--do you think “Humsfeld” should be spelled with one “m” or two. I think one. Two “m’s” would look more like “Hummer,” but one “m” would look more like your name. (Rumsfeld.)

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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