Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Saturday, October 11, 2003
J.W. Popp
Manager, Consumer Innovation Office
P.O. Box 6234
Dearborn, MI 48121-6234

Dear Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Popp,

I’m reading between the lines here, but when you said in your letter that your policy is to not consider any suggestions from consumers, I’m guessing that this is what your lawyers told you to say so you wouldn’t get sued. Don’t worry--I meant it when I said you could use my idea for the Ford Norton SUV. It’s yours! Take it! You don’t even have to make a minor change like calling it the Gale Norton Ford SUV. Just take the idea and run with it! Our president said we all have to make sacrifices. Just consider this my contribution as an American.

Another thing you probably didn’t think of with the Ford Norton SUV is you can say, “And...the interior is pollution free!” Interior--get it?

Here’s another customer innovation for you: You know how GMC makes a Humvee (Hummer)? They’re way out ahead of you on this, but I know how you can catch up real quick. Make a tank that looks just like the Hummer only put on a hood ornament that looks like Donald Rumsfeld’s head, and call the car the Ford Humsfeld. The only thing I haven’t thought through is whether to spell Humsfeld with one “m” or two. I think one--what do you think?

Like I said, don’t worry about covering your you-know-whats with a bunch of legalese about how you don’t take suggestions from customers. If you didn’t, why would you have a Consumer Innovation Office? You can have my innovations on the house. All I ask in return is a complimentary model. My wife wants the Ford Norton in a tan. I think I want my Humsfeld in military green.

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada