Wednesday, October 15, 2003
c/o FOX News Channel
1211 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036
Is it ok if I call you “pal?” I think it’s funny how you’re always calling people “pal,” even when they’re not.
I think I’ve got something figured out--feel free to tell me if I’m off base. Remember when Al Franken outed you for getting mixed up and saying you won two Peabody awards when you didn’t? Remember when you told everybody you were registered Independent even though you were a Republican? Remember that book you wrote, “Those Who Trespass” where you described all the nasty stuff that Ashley and Shannon did together?
I’ll get right to the point: Are you part of the Rush Limbaugh Drug Ring? I think Rush has been supplying Ann Coulter for some time now, and the more I think about it, the more I think he’s probably been supplying you and Hannity and everybody over at Fox. Greta Van Sustern too. As soon as she came over to Fox, she started acting wierd--she got a face lift and started obsessing about kidnapped kids.
Anyway, all the pieces of the puzzle came together for me. Rush is your hero! You’d vote Democrat if he told you too. You’ve all been acting so wierd lately--tell me if I’m wrong, but I think you’re all tripping and Rush is the ringleader! Now I understand why you call your show “The No Spin Zone!”
Also, I heard that Rush stayed overnight at the White House, and President Bush personally carried his bags to his bedroom. You don’t think...?