Tuesday, November 04, 2003
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Dude! Your dad sent a shot across your bough! I bet you were as mad as Rush Limbaugh at a Gay Pride Parade when you found out your old man’s going to give the 2003 George Bush Award for Excellence in Public Service to Ted Kennedy! Dang! That’s harsh.
How come dude’s calling you out like that? Just cause he thinks you messed up in Iraq and insulted a bunch of UN geezers and you tanked the economy--that’s no reason for him to embarrass you in front of all your friends and give an award to Ted Kennedy!
Remember Taras Bulba? That was the movie with Yul Brynner and Tony Curtis where Yul Brynner (Taras) was a Cossack dude and Tony Curtis was his son--and Yul and Tony were good buds and they’d wrestle and stuff but it was always for fun. But then they became enemies, and they had a war and in the end, Yul Brynner killed his son (Tony Curtis) and everybody in the theatre cried.
Remember in Godfather II when Michael Corleone kissed his brother Fredo? Dude kissed him right on the lips! Then he sent out a hit guy to whack him. My point is, even the best families have problems, Dude.
I just don’t think your dad ought to be giving you such a hard time. He had his chance and what did he do? He couldn’t even catch Saddam Hussein! I guess you haven’t either, but maybe you will. Anyway, it’s your turn to try, and I think your old man should butt out. Maybe you should give out your own award--call it the George W. Bush Ultimate Patriot Award. Give it to Clinton. That’ll make your dad madder than Bill O’Reilly on Al Franken Appreciation Day.
We’re makin’ progress!