Thursday, October 16, 2003
Reverend Franklin Graham
Billy Graham Evangelistic Association
P.O. Box 1270
Charlotte, NC 28201-1270
Dear Reverend Graham (Franklin),
I received your letter where you said “God’s heart groans for the cities,” and all I can say is: “AMEN!”
I hate the city anymore--there’s too many people! Remember when Snoopy said, “I love humanity, it’s people I can’t stand..”? Or was it the other way around? Maybe he loved people, but it was humanity he couldn’t stand. Anyway, you probably love both--but I’m just a lowly sinner. Don’t get me wrong--I like people, just in small doses.
Which do you think is the worst city in the United States? I think maybe it’s Fresno. The summers are unbearably hot and dry, it’s dirty and crowded and polluted--have you ever done a crusade in Fresno?
Vegas is really bad, too. I know a lot of people like it there, but it’s really gaudy and sinful. You quoted Jesus as saying, “But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you” (Matthew 11:21-24, NIV). Was he talking about Vegas?
Salt Lake City is an ok town, but the Mormons have a lock on it. Do they let you crusade there?
Congratulations on your new headquarters in Charlotte. I hear that’s a pretty nice city (as cities go). Is this a move up from your office in Minneapolis or just a “lateral move?” Will you be a Charlotte Hornets fan now, or are you still loyal to the Minnesota Timberwolves?
I’ve enclosed 0.25 to help you “reach the people of the world with the life-changing message of Jesus Christ.” Sorry I can’t give more--my tax refund wasn’t as big as I expected. Please send me a calendar.