Monday, September 08, 2003
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Well, it looks like we’re going to have to get out the Photo Shop software again. Remember when you flew in on that fighter pilot and landed on the S.S. Abraham Lincoln and the flags were waving and the marines were cheering and you told us the war was over? If you remember, I was worried about your using that footage for your re-election campaign because your American flag lapel pin was crooked.
I think we have that problem solved because you can straighten out your flag pin using Photo Shop. But now we have another problem: There was a sign in back of you that said: “Mission Accomplished.” I’m afraid if your enemies saw that now, they might use it against you. They’d start whining that the mission isn’t really accomplished because you haven’t caught Saddam Hussein and you haven’t caught Bin Laden and you haven’t found any WMD(s) and American soldiers are getting killed every day and Iraq is in chaos and it’s costing us a bazillion dollars. Jeez! Some people just don’t understand the price of freedom!
Here’s what I think you should do: Go to your Photo Shop program and erase “Mission Accomplished.” In its place, write: “Mission Impossible.” You can do it--trust me--you’ll be amazed at what Photo Shop can do. Then when you show those clips on your re-election ads, everybody will see you on the S.S. Abraham Lincoln in your jump suit with the flags waving and the marines cheering and your flag pin straight and the sign in back of you saying: “Mission Impossible.” It’ll send a message that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a plan, it doesn’t matter if the whole world is mad at us--of course everything is a mess because this is an impossible mission and George W. Bush is just the man for the job! You could even use it in your campaign slogan:
Re-elect George W. Bush:
Four More Years of Mission Impossible!
God Bless George W. Bush!
God Bless Our Troops! Give Them a Raise!
Carl Estrada