Monday, September 22, 2003
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Did you hear General Wesley Clark is running for president?
I don’t think we have anything to worry about. I’ve been making a point by point comparison of you and General Clark, and I think you’ve got it in the bag!
1. Experience-OK, so what if he’s a four star general and was the commander of NATO? You’re the President of the United States, and before that you owned a baseball team!
2. Education-OK, so what if he graduated first in his class at West Point? You got a business degree at Yale. Nobody cares about grade point average anyway.
3. Issues-This is where you’ve really got him. For one thing, he criticized you when you started a war with Iraq, and everybody knows that’s un-American! Don’t worry when he brings up the deficit--nobody can count that high anyway. Or when he starts pandering to the liberals about unemployment and civil rights and “women’s issues”--just keep hammering that he was un-Patriotic to not go along with you on the war, and watch him come unravelled.
4. Intelligence-I think you’re intelligent, too. Maybe you’re not as articulate as Clark is (articulate means being able to speak well), but that could work for you. Most Americans aren’t articulate either, and they don’t trust people who speak clearly. If they wanted articulate, they would have voted for Adlai Stevenson. (Of course, they voted for Eisenhower who was a general, but that’s beside the point.)
I think you can beat Wesley Clark, no problem! I really do! Do you think so?