Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Attorney General John Ashcroft
U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20530-0001

Dear Attorney General Ashcroft,

Operation Full Disclosure? Heavens! What will you people think of next? I would have thought you had gotten this sort of thing out of your system with that dreadful Joe McCarthy, but evidently not.

My dear man, you leave me no choice but to submit to your psychic strip search, but be informed that I do not acquiesce freely. Sir, you are desecrating the freedoms you claim to be protecting.

Now then...I cannot provide you a list of videos I have rented because I do not own a television. I cannot give you a list of web sites I have visited because I do not own a computer. I will give you a list of books I have purchased this year in hopes it will satisfy your voracious curiosity:

1. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
2. Benjamin Franklin by Walter Isaacson
3. Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
4. Leap of Faith: Memoirs of an Unexpected Life by Queen Noor
5. Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang
6. Shrub by Molly Ivins
7. The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester
8. Dreaming War: Blood for Oil and the Cheney-Bush Junta by Gore Vidal
9. The Best Democracy Money Can Buyby Greg Palast
10. The Betrayal of America: How the Supreme Court Undermined the Constitution and Chose Our President by Vincent Bugliosi

Well, there you are, sir. I hope we can all sleep better now.

Virginia T. Kornpepper

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