The oceans are rising! Forests are burning! Terrorists on the loose! Donald Trump is running amok!
This is a job for.... Carl Estrada!
 
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Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Britney Spears
C/O Creative Artists Agency
9830 Wilshire Blvd.
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
USA

Dear Ms. Spears,

I read where you said, “I think we should just trust the president in every decision he makes, and we should just support that, and be faithful in what happens.”

Wow! Not only are you a big star--you’re a thinker too! You are so right! I don’t care how wrong or stupid he is, he’s still our President! (I’m not saying he’s stupid, he’s just not very articulate.) Anyway, all these liberals who are whining that he wasn’t elected fair and square--what difference does that make? He’s our President, right or wrong, end of story!

That was a great kiss you gave Madonna the other night. It reminded me of when Gore kissed Tipper at the Demo Convention. He got in all kinds of trouble for that, but everybody seemed to like it when you kissed Madonna. Maybe if Gore had kissed you or Madonna instead of Tipper, he’d be president now. Who knows?

I think you have the best belly button in the whole world--bar none! Your belly button is better than Christina Aguilera’s or JLo’s or anybody! I bet if they had a World’s Best Belly Button contest, you’d win!

Does the President listen to you or watch your videos? I bet he’d like you better than the Dixie Chicks, even if they are from Texas.

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

 

 
 
 
 
 


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