Thursday, May 29, 2003
Secretary of Interior
1489 C Street NW
Dear Ms. Norton,
Your boss is a genius! Or was it you? Whoever came up with the name “Healthy Forest Initiative” deserves a raise! How can the tree-huggers argue with you when you’re cutting forests down to make them “healthy?” Genius is always so simple.
I know you’ve had problems getting some programs through--you can have your way on everything if you use the “Healthy Forest Initiative (HFI)” as your model. For instance, don’t say you want to drill for oil in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge--that sounds terrible! Call it the “Pristine Arctic Proposal (PAP).” Then watch those oil rigs head North to Alaska!
Who wants more arsenic in their water!? I don’t, you don’t--it’s a no-brainer! Call it the “Pure Water Act (PWA).” Everybody wants pure water!
The “Endangered Species Act” makes it impossible for developers to give us a balanced approach. Counter it with the “Dangerous Species Act (DSA).”
Trying to overturn the ban on snowmobiles in Yellowstone? How about the “Silent, Invisible, Clean Off-Road Vehicle Drivers’ Rights Initiative (SIC-ORDR)?”
You can probably think of a hundred more--you folks are the geniuses at this. But I’m just suggesting you build on the idea you’ve already started.
I was sorry to hear Christine Todd Whitman is leaving the EPA--hey, there’s another one: The Environmental Protection Agency! Hah! That’s a good one! Anyway, be sure to say hi to Ms. Whitman for me.
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