Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Saturday, April 17, 2004
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

I can’t believe you did that!

There are two rules that every president needs to know if they want their presidency to survive:

Rule 1: DO NOT give interviews to Bob Woodward!

Rule 2: See Rule 1.

What were you thinking?! Was Cheney away on vacation? Don’t you remember Bob Woodward? He’s the guy from Woodward and Bernstein who brought Nixon down! He’s got some kind of mojo that makes people talk to him and tell the truth! And now you’ve gone and talked to him and guess what? He’s written a book. Surprise, surprise!

Don’t you remember in the movie when Woodward (Robert Redford) and Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman) talked to “Deep Throat” in the underground parking lot, and he told them all of Nixon’s secrets? We’ve gone almost 30 years and we still don’t know who “Deep Throat” was, and we’re not even done with your first term and we already know who your “Deep Throat” is--it’s YOU!

Do you think they’ll make another movie? Robert Redford could play Woodward again. Dustin Hoffman could play you--he’s a chamelion! If they can’t get Dustin Hoffman, maybe David Letterman could play you. Dana Carvey could play your dad for a little comic relief. Remember him? “A thousand points of light...Wouldn’t be prudent...Stay the course.”

Speaking of your dad, I heard Woodward asked if you go to your father for advice on Iraq, and here is what you said: “You know, he is the wrong father to appeal to in terms of strength. There is a higher father that I appeal to." Now you’ve got us all wondering who that “higher father” could be. This might be as big a mystery as “Deep Throat.” I’m putting my money on Cheney.

Sincerely,

Carl Estrada

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