Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Vice President Dick Cheney
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. Vice President,
Dude! You know that commercial for Osteo Bi-Flex? You know the one where Frankenstein takes Celebrex and next thing you know he’s all happy and he’s doing yoga and he’s out gardening and he’s playing his banjo? That’s my favorite commercial.
You know when they show those early black & white pictures of Frankenstein? My girl friend and I have a bet. I say that’s Boris Karloff and she says it’s you. Who’s right?
Bring ‘em on!
Brad Cahoon
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7-6-03
Karl Rove
Advisor to the President
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington DC 20500
Dear Mr. Rove,
Dude! I've got this epic idea!
GEORGE W:
"BRING 'EM ON!"
I bet I don't have to say another word--you being the Strategy God and everything. But just in case you don't get it, check this out--A big American flag, George W standing in front of it in that awesome fighter pilot suit, and at the top you write: GEORGE W: "BRING 'EM ON!" OK? Now, 3 more words: T-shirts, buttons, bumper-stickers. They'll sell like uranium at a terrorist convention!
Can you picture the Demos' faces when you pull out Operation Bring 'em On? They'll be scrambling for cover faster than you can say Michael Dukakis! And when all those ten million Shiites and Saddam and Bin Laden and Arafat and Kim Jong and Hu Jintao and Charles Taylor and Castro and Putin and the European Union gang up on us--whoa! They'll shiver in fear cause George W is one tough hombre and they messed with the wrong dude.
I can't wait to buy my T-shirt. I take a size Large. Can I get one for free seeing as I gave you the idea?
Sincerely,
Brad Cahoon