Advisor to the President
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington DC 20500
Dear Mr. Rove,
You pressured Kerry into releasing his military records and guess what? They reveal that he speaks French! And German! He’s worse than we thought.
This is going to be easy. If you could convince people that Max Cleland was a traitor after he lost three limbs in Viet Nam, John Kerry is “toast.” There are already reports that he only showed records for his 2nd and 3rd Purple Hearts. What about the first one? (You don’t think he faked his injuries, do you?)
Just because his superiors said he was mature, intelligent, immaculate, diplomatic, decisive, charismatic, and well-liked by his men doesn’t mean a thing! Our President is decisive too! AND--Kerry didn’t get top grades for military bearing, reliability, or initiative. (You don’t think this means he’s slovenly, irresponsible, and lazy--do you?)
You can say: “We’re proud to compare George W. Bush’s war record with that of the Liberal Frenchman! Between George W. Bush and John Kerry, they have received 3 Purple Hearts, a Bronze Star, and a Silver Star!”
You can say: “Some folks (Jane Fonda) think the Liberal Frenchman was a (Jane Fonda) traitor because he came home and (Jane Fonda) and deserted his troops by posing in a doctored photo with JANE FONDA AT AN ANTI-WAR RALLY! (Jane Fonda.) All the while, Our President was getting an honorable discharge, AND--Our President’s record was so exemplary, they let him out eight months early!”
This is going to be a piece of cake. But just in case--don’t let them leave a paper trail on those electronic voting machines. We don’t want to take any chances.
Four more years! (At least.)