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Sunday, April 25, 2004
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

Did you watch the Women’s Parade? Now they’re saying there were 800,000 people there! That’s ok. I think we can neutralize them with the NASCAR vote.

Did you hear what the Flip-Flopping Frenchman from Massachussets said? He said he was for women’s Right-to-Choose! So? What’s his point? I think you can come right back at him and say you’re for women’s Right-to-Choose too!

For instance, I bet you always let Laura (your wife) choose the wallpaper. Also, you probably usually let her choose what to order for dinner.

I bet sometimes you let her choose what movie you’re going to watch. Like if you want to watch Rambo and she wants to watch some sappy romantic movie like The Way We Were, maybe you let her watch it after Rambo is over.

You can say: Women should have the Right-to-Choose to vote if they want to.

You can say: If a woman’s pay is less than her male co-workers’ or if she gets harrassed, she has the Right-to-Choose to quit her job.

You can show how different you are from the French by saying women should have the Right-to-Choose to wear burkhas if they want to.

If a woman wants sex education or family planning education or AIDS education, she has the Right-to-Choose any book in the library she wants to read.

But how come all we ever talk about is what women want? Don’t men ever get to choose anything anymore? Especially when it comes to “Right-to-Life.” Then I think it should be the man’s choice because he’s the one who chose to not use a condom and get the woman pregnant in the first place. It’s his baby she’s carrying! I just think in that case, men should get to choose--except for men doctors. Don’t let them choose! Or especially women doctors. You know what they’ll say.

I know this is a confusing and upsetting subject but I just think we need to use some common sense. Let women choose some things and men choose some other things. Give and take! Compromise!

And if the women get emotional and unreasonable, all you need are Ann Coulter, Bay Buchanan, Phyllis Schafly, and the 78% of the men who voted for you last time, and then you’re in!

Also, I bet Gale Norton and Condi Rice will vote for you. That’s two more!

190 days til elections!

Carl Estrada

 

 
 
 
 
 


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