Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Friday, March 12, 2004
Karl Rove
Advisor to the President
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington DC 20500

Dear Mr. Rove,

These guys are playing dirty! Did you hear what that Fonda-Loving-Liberal- Senator-from-Massachussets said when he thought the mike was off? He called you guys “a bunch of crooked liars!” Now he’s crossed the line!

You guys can’t keep sitting back and being human punching bags! At some point, you’re going to have to fight back! I know, I know--you want to take the high road. But Kerry’s a dirty fighter, and he’s leaving you no choice but to roll in the mud with him. Here’s what you should do: Remember when George W. Bush was running against Al Gore? Remember when candidate Bush got caught making that “off-mike” remark? He said, "There's Adam Clymer, major league a**hole from the New York Times." Well, guess what? It worked! That was September, and Bush was 10 points behind in the polls. After that, he surged and he almost won!

Tell him to do it again--let him get “caught” off-mike saying, “My worthy Fonda-Loving-Liberal-Senator-from Massachussets opponent sure is an a**hole.” Then watch his poll numbers soar! They’ll play that clip more times than Janet Jackson!

Those Democrats don’t play fair and you’re just going to have to fight fire with fire! I think you had the right idea by circulating that picture of Kerry with Jane Fonda on the Internet. And that story about Kerry having an affair--he had to spend a whole week denying it. And the girl you said he was with had to tell the press they didn’t do it, she’s engaged, and leave her alone.

That was a good start, but you’re still being too timid. Maybe you’re just rusty. Remember the “push poll” you did on John McCain in South Carolina? You had pollers call everybody in South Carolina and ask:

“Would you be more likely or less likely to vote for John McCain for president if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?”

Do that! (Except use John Kerry’s name instead of John McCain.) You’re just going to have to hold your nose and match him punch for punch!

Remember Willie Horton!

Carl Estrada

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