Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Monday, March 22, 2004
Mel Gibson
23333 Palm Canyon Lane
Malibu, CA 90265-4956

Dear Mr. Gibson,

Oh well--I guess all good things must come to an end. I’m sorry your Passion of the Christ movie got bumped off the Number One spot. You made a good run--you beat back Starsky and Hutch. You annihilated FiftyFirst Dates. You even beat the new Lord of the Rings movie, but I guess that one had been out a while.

But in the end, you just couldn’t hold back the challenge from the newcomer, Dawn of the Dead. Have you seen it? It’s a remake, just like The Passion of the Christ, except it’s about Zombies. It’s not quite as bloody as The Passion--but what movie is? It’s bloodier than the first Zombie movie, Night of the Living Dead, but The Passion!--it blows The Last Tempation of Christ and Jesus Christ Superstar right out of the water! And the special effects! They should get an Academy Award! When Jesus was getting flayed and you could see his ribs and blood was splattering everywhere--or when the crows were picking out that guy’s eyes because he didn’t believe in Jesus--it was like it was really happening! Like the Pope said, “It is as it was.” The Zombie special effects were pretty good, but yours were in a whole different league!

Anyway, I’m sorry your movie got beat out by the Zombie movie. But remember the Beatles? They were Number One for ten years, and they finally got beat out by the Carpenters and the BeeGees and Tony Orlando. So don’t take it personally. Pretty soon The Passion will come out in video and DVD and you’ll be Number One again! People will rent it and buy it and watch it over and over!

Speaking of taking things personally--remember how mad everybody got when John Lennon said the Beatles were more popular than Jesus? He didn’t say they were better, just more popular. I bet, thanks to you, Jesus is more popular than the Beatles again--even if he did get beat out by a Zombie movie this week!

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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