Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Gale Norton
Secretary of Interior
1489 C Street NW
Washington DC 20240

Dear Secretary Norton,

Good news! The National Parks are going to have a “service level adjustment” this year!

What a relief! When I first heard the Bush Administration was cutting 600 million dollars from the national park budget, I was worried the parks would have to close historic sites and shut down visitor centers and eliminate guided ranger tours and cut back on staff and services.

But now, your own Park Service Deputy Director Chrysandra Walter has sent a memo telling park superintendants to say, “If you feel you must inform the public...do not indicate directly that this is a cut...We all agreed to use the terminology of ‘service level adjustment.’ ”

A service level adjustment can be a good thing. Like when we got rid of the Evil Dictator--that was a service level adjustment. Or when we closed down schools because they were leaving children behind. I guess you could even say when George W. Bush was elected, America experienced a service level adjustment.

By the way, Jessica Simpson, that reality-TV star said she thought you decorated the White House interior. Interior--get it? I know she was wrong, but maybe you should do it anyway. Then you could have a service level adjustment! You can be the Martha Stewart of the White House! Come to think of it, she had a service level adjustment too! How would you decorate it? Would you use gas burning heat with electric powered air conditioning for that “balanced approach?” Maybe you could build an EnergyEfficient Headline Ticker into the Oval Office so Our President can get the news without wasting his energy. By the way, remember those solar panels Jimmy Carter had installed but Reagan took out right away? Will you put them back?

I just think people need to keep an open mind. Life is full of service level adjustments! Just ask George Bush Sr.

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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