Anti George Bush political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Sunday, March 28, 2004
Vice President Dick Cheney
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Vice President Cheney,

You can’t count on anything anymore! For decades now, every time I’ve seen Dick Clark on TV, my reaction has been the same: That man has not changed a bit! He’s looks exactly the same as he did 45+ years ago on American Bandstand! Frankie Avalon, Bobby Rydell, Fabian--they’re all old men now. But not Dick Clark. He must have found the Fountain of Youth!

So you can imagine my reaction when I saw him testifying before the 9/11 Commission. Being the White House’s Chief Counter-Terrorism Expert has aged him! He looks terrible!

And the things he was saying! He says nobody would even listen to him about Al Qaeda, and even after 9/11, all Our President could think of was Iraq, Iraq, Iraq! To hear him tell it, Our President was asleep at the switch!

I think you’re right--he’s just trying to sell his new book. It’s Number One on the Bestseller List, which proves your point. That’s what all these guys do when they leave the White House--they write a book and trash Our President. Like Paul O’Neill--he said Our President was asleep at the switch too. O’Neill didn’t actually write a book--he just got famous by having a book written about him. And Joseph Wilson--after he said there was no uranium in Niger, somebody (?) tipped off Bob Novak who outed his wife as a CIA spy. Wilson hasn’t written a book yet, but when he does, I bet he’ll say Our President was asleep at the switch. Then his book will go straight to the top!

I think you should say Dick Clark’s memory is slipping. You can point out how much he’s aged since his American Bandstand days. Also, he’s “out of the loop.” I know you got in trouble for saying that, but he was! I bet you never took him duck hunting!

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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