Friday, January 23, 2004
President George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
Who would you most like to debate: the Lincoln look-alike, the Handsome Southernor, or the Army General?
The guy I’m worried about most is that guy who looks like Lincoln. He plays guitar and wind surfs and rides a Harley. Maybe you should start talking about your hobbies more. The only thing anybody knows about your private life is when you choked on that pretzel while you were watching football. So we know you like to watch football. And eat pretzels. Also running. We know you like to run.
That guy who looks like Lincoln says his favorite album is Abbey Road. What’s your favorite album? Maybe you should tell everybody your favorite group is the Dixie Chicks. Make up with them! You can’t afford to lose Texas! Anyway, I just think it’s time that people got to know The Real George W. Bush. Tell us your favorite movies and your favorite comic strips!
I heard some shocking news. Time magazine just came out with a poll saying the guy who looks like Lincoln is ahead of you by 3 per centage points! We’re in a bit of a jam, but I think I have a solution. You have over 100 million dollars. Give half of it to Dean!
Four more years!
P.S. I know it’s just a coincidence, but my favorite album is Abbey Road too. Do you like Abbey Road? It’s ok with me if it’s not your favorite, but I would like to know that you like it.