Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Sunday, February 01, 2004
Howard Dean
Dean For America
P.O. Box 1228
Burlington, Vermont 05402

Dear Howard Dean,

WE’RE GOING TO CALIFO-O-ORNIA-A-A!!!! YEA-A-A-H!!!! Dude! I loved when you did that! I was jumping up and down on the couch and yelling right along with you til my girl friend punched me in the arm and told me to put a lid on it. She says you’re a liberal George Bush on steroids.

Anyway, I hate to break the news to you but somebody’s got to do it. Here it is:

You lost, dude.

It’s ok. Everybody loses once in a while. I know cuz I’ve lost a lot of surfing contests I thought I would win. One time this dude cut right in front of me on the last wave of the day and I hit a pier post. The bummer was when I woke up in the hospital, they told me I broke my board in half. It was harsh.

Anyway, get up and dust yourself off. Go back to Vermont, flip some pancakes and chill. The main thing is--JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH FOR A WHILE, DUDE! STOP BAD-MOUTHING KERRY! YOU’RE JUST DRAGGING HIM DOWN IN THE MUD WITH YOU LIKE THAT GEPHARDT DUDE! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ABB--ANYBODY BUT BUSH?!

You don’t have to be a good sport--just pretend. Do what I did--The next time I saw that rat who cut me off on the wave, I said, “Nice ride.” Or like my girl friend would say, “Put a lid on it, dude.”

Later,
Brad Cahoon

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