Anti Donald Trump political humor and political satire by Paul Chasman

Friday, January 02, 2004
Pat Robertson
The Christian Broadcasting Network
977 Centerville Turnpike
Virginia Beach, VA 23463

Dear Pat,

I’m planning on making a very large bet, and was wondering if you would give me some odds. The reason I ask is I heard that you talked to God recently and he told you Bush was going to win big in November. You said, "I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. The Lord has just blessed him...It doesn't make any difference what he does, good or bad, God picks him up because he's a man of prayer and God's blessing him."

Deal me in! If it’s good enough for the Lord, it’s good enough for me! I’m putting down my life savings on this one! But before I place my bet, could you please ask God for me the following questions:

1) What percentage will he win by? Will he get a majority this time? Over 55? Over 60? Unanimous like Saddam Hussein?

2) How many states will he win besides Florida?

3) How many states will have computerized voting with machines made by Bush contributors?

4) Will the Supreme Court have to help out again?

I’m putting everything I have on the line here, so please ask the Lord to speak very clearly to make sure you hear Him right.

How much of a cut do you take for “inside information?”

Sincerely,
Carl Estrada

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